haze: 9/1/07 - 10/1/07

9/18/07

dear you

dear you,

i m sorry, you are the closest to me, one i see everyday..
you have many who are close to you, i do not know where i stand in your heart.
its unfortunate that every week you are the first one i see,

every week, i see everything falling apart, no deadlines are met.
i know for sure the deadline cannot be met. n its unfortunate for u to read it in my face and my emotions what i feel for the whole team, you think that its all bad cuz of you but it isn't.

regardless of what my face says, i did not mean to hurt you. especially you. n in my heart, i do not think badly of you at all.

i cannot help you when i m hanging by a thread myself, i cannot be the only one who has solutions. i have snapped. i do not have the experience to be patient and still keep my head on when everything is in chaos.

i did not start this team to lead, but to make all of you into leaders. we did fine in the production. the lack of time made us snap, made me snapped. it is a shame that all my pain is felt by you too, you who are so optimistic and energetic.

i am sorry.

9/16/07

i may not have a dream house with big lcd screen for a tv
i may not have a mom that can cook well or a perfect family
i may not have worked in the most illustrious company
i may not be considered kind and angelic
nor was i acknowledged being the smartest ass on earth
i may not have been to all the 7 wonders or to paris or france.
i may be content and raving about the little little things that i have, things that meant alot to me n little to you who have seen so many.
i may not be any superstar with huge visions.
i may not have been brought up by the greatest mom n dad.
i may not have a garden party for any of my birthdays.
i may not have an expensive and imported pet.
i may not have breakfast or luxurious meals waiting for me everytime i come home.

perhaps u think i m going to start the next sentence with a 'but i have xxx or yyy'
but thats not going to happen. theres not going to be a but cuz i do not really have anything to shout about.

that does not mean i m inferior to you who only care about who u have seen and where you have been and what you have.
i like my small tv at home, my old bed from 12 years ago, my collection of books that u may deem childish and my old car.
i m happy about the things i have, but i do not make others feel bad about the stuff they don't have.
at least i m real and you are not.

9/3/07

photoblog

first of all...lets kick start with momo!!!!

and some emo photos when i was on my way to awana puri

a view from my office... everyone that day was glued to the glass pane.. looking out for the parachuters that jump off kl towers.. supposed to be some rehearsal for merdeka.. cant u see it?? that 2 pixels there... lol

and some photos from klang.....

our director (pronounced duh-rect-tuh, not die-rect-tor) Ivan Leong

the 2 mamaos... vinn and haze

and muah

wth is calvin.. oh he was doing his gay thingie... censored off di.. but when i get his pic i will put it here... else he will give me his du lan look.. which is exactly right on his face right now as he is reading this...

looks like flower ya... buts it actually fireworks!

and finally PICC night on merdeka's countdown.. we brought a tripod.. the whole place is swimming with SLRS and tripods.. man.... i feel so inferior.. everyone else has at least a exposure meter.

here are some choice shots of that night.. i have like 200 ++ photos.. perhaps i should stock them :p