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hates...
1. feeling of being imprisoned
2. surrounded by people who dislike me
3. if i m unable to be who i am
4. when my efforts are not being appreciated

loves...
1. being myself
2. proving others wrong

Why so many thank yous

oi tan. i got ur MSN MSG!!
GAHHHHHHH
thank you!!!!

why so many thank yous.. the definite reason is that i m such a lousy friend but I have so many freaking amazing friends.
don't send me anymore touching msgs already. i m breaking down liao fuck wei.

happy chinese new year.
will have a party after cny. my super belated bday party that i suddenly decided to have after what. 3 weeks. as a thank you to all of you.

details and invis will be up in fb soon.
all of you non drivers i swear to god i m gonna get yall drunk. lol
pls dun buy me present.

beginning of the end

thank you.. this is the first time in my life i heard 2 girls debating about my happiness while i m moping away on top of the toilet bowl trying to poop.
and thank you for the blanket.. sorry for intruding last night.. (btw, you don't have to look at me everytime i sniff.. its not a prelude to a torrent of tears .. your house is just plain dusty alright)

i had a vision.. being foolishly happy.. with a bashful grin..
i m sure.. that future exists..
it made me smile.. a little.

i m not proud of being a bad girlfriend. i m a fucking jew for christ sake and failing at this is the worst that could possibly happen to me. but it did happened.
to cling on when all the cards i dealt out will only turn into knives. that's a tad selfish.
who am i. i m just a starved plastic mannequin drowning in smokes.
and you. you are up there you know. just. there. a furious angel.

you are tired. i m tired too.
i m tired of all my friends always thinking bout you and your wholesome goodness.
i m tired of thinking of your wholesome goodness.
cuz i can't fucking par up to your bread. fuck i m still trying to scrape off the fungus on me and you are already blinding me with your whole.some.good.ness.
everybody is saying.. he's so good. he is so good. he is so good. can't get anywhere else. last species.
fuck. YOU try to be his girlfriend. see if you can still get the air to your lungs.

oh right. maybe you can.

to say i love myself would be a lie.
to say i hate myself would be an understatement.
but its an irony..how can one loathe herself and still want to be loved by others eh.

i m a coward. i don't play by the rules. when people struggle n suffer.. i blinded myself with a substitution of role playing mechanism.
it is time. i play by the rules.

mr. pain has been waiting. waiting to pounce. on the victim who escaped so many times.
i will brave it out.

DEFINE THIS PIECE OF CODE

what the hell. where the fuck.
where.
i said. where.
where the fuck did i get the balls to put this shit up.
where.
"um.... 7 eleven"

which is why i didn't. i put this instead. didn't i.
din no fucking make no difference.

Its been so insanely long since I plugged in my tablet.
what?
you heard it.
plug wat yo.

why am I talking like a nigger
well, my love of a father got drunk pissed at me that day.
(I was the drunk one, mind)
and went :
I am not gonna wait for no damn you.

WHUUAAAH.

went clubbing for 2 nights straight
*tsk tsk shake head.. what's happening to haze*
i rained torrents of bile and shit on kim's car and i can hear her yakking away on her phone.
then a whiff of irritating smell hit me. a tissue box hit my hands.
I officially hit a 6 for the 'number of times i club'

"well, put it this way.."
fuck that. fuck you.
the next time i see you, not only will i rain torrents of ice cubes on you. i ma gonna rain my bile n shit on your faggot face.

(turns on sweet mode)
I celebrated my birthday at No Black Tie.

um. thank you for all the wishes. After the clubbing shit ( oh fuck, sweet mode) after all the partying.. i LOVE my guys. ALL the guys in my life.
*chomp* I m eating the 12 hour old prosperity burger.
the onions taste like hair.
It's 5.44 am now.

shiina ringo is my fucking god.
thanks johnny. i know i m your god.
pfeh
(this is why u let me in ur band right, which i m beginning to think its non-existent)
and also thank you for that hugely emo and touching comment.
it must have crushed your balls and inverted your nipples just trying to be nice to me eh.
appreciate the effort man. best present ever, the msg not the balls.
bread n butter forever.

and thank YOU.
for remembering.
its not like we are friends. GASP
it silence the hard rock that is playing in my head and tuned it to jason mraz's geek in pink.
that's what you did.

.. of cos. thank you.
for giving me the screams.
wtf sony ericsson logo on the present box.
GAHHHHHHHH
ps. i'm yours?
i'm yours???

My Next Victim

Oh... so beautiful is that hatred. that pain. that silent acknowledgment of life's shit.
I cried.. oh how I cried. tears of relief of how I wasn't the only one.
the only one with shit.

How can one comprehend another who only think in words.. not music.
Your mind is a fucking living etude.. with the superintelligence of Chopin.


Ah. it was funny. it was ironic. it was fucking deja vu.

wrong was i to think i was the only person with such abstract and crazy thoughts.

sigh

holy fuck

hangover

ok.. i calm down liao. wtf i posted here yesterday.
well basically i had a great time.
nothing of interest happen.
as usual.
i was just fucking high from booze.

:D