haze

VAN 3147

'theres a new student!!! heard he's from our sister school..the one with all the caucasians. got transfered here.' jamie told her best friend.

jamie is the top student in the class. neat, christian, an all rounder both in class n sports. . also a grade 5 pianist at 9 years old.. teacher's pet. her youth spurt caused her new pests to break on her face. pimples.

her best friend, yolanda is exactly the opposite. always jamie's shadow. messy, a broken family...she just came in last year right after her mother's death. a gangly,thin and dark child with a face always ready to rebel but in fact always pleading to please.

they ran to their usual white van together. the van that brings them home n surprised to find someone new there.


'ahhhhhh both of u come here.. fai di fai ditt!!! go up..!! na! this is new student. branmonn.. he stays opposite. his mother... came over to me this morning n ask me to send him .....bla bla bla...............................................'

the new student with a weird name kept quiet. aloof. fat. dark. with a downturn mouth that seemed to be frowning all the time. tall for a 9 years old.


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'Brandon!!!!! wait up!! ' yolanda shouted

brandon continued walking as if he heard nothing..

yolanda kept quiet. his behaviour is disturbing. ignoring her and acting as if she doesnt exist in front of everyone else.. but when in the van. he talked n joked with her as if she's the last person on earth n its their last day on earth.

she was surprised they had so much to talk about ... he seemed to ignore others when he talked to her. n ......unfortunately vice versa.

they were 10 years old. jamie was already in the car, disgusted at her best friend who seemed to be acting strange lately...who seeemed to turn her head with a little forced swish that odels usually practice to get the wind in their hair. she also seemed to be paying all her attention to brandon whenever he's around. talking to him n laughign at each of his jokes. and him!... that fat over- friendly brat who seemed to take over the 'prince charming' title in class. during valentines this year n last year, he got almost 9 flowers n cards. jamie look at the sullen yolanda..who is now kicking the stones with her unshapely legs.. wondering why is she so stupid as to follow all the other giggly girls' steps.


yolanda got into the van..and being the last to do so, she suffers the torments of shouting from the van driver who also happens to be her 6th and current babysitter and also a diablos that seemed to want er to sleep at 8 everynight.


yolanda bullied one of the small kids. breaking her toys. causing the small kid to cry n dictate passionately and determinedly that she will report to her mother about this. brandon watch with disinterest as an over active spoilt brat next to him bragged about his antics in class.

now this spoilt brat .. he is the only one in the van with the breath of a dragon which can be compared to the diablos driving the van. he can shout n screamed in his girly child's voice with her and still manage the get the diablos also dictating menacingly to reveal his shit to his mother. he also have the spirit of destruction. destructing every thing along his way to class.

the van pulled with a screech in front of the small kid's house. the mother came out



'today the market's fish not fresh la..... very hard to cut.. next time..

'no no!! i told u buy at ah blad blad shop.. blabl bal
bibabiba

bibabiba

bibabiba

small kid got out.

'mummy, just now yolanda bullied me n spoilt my toy!!!. mummy!!!'

yolanda felt cold sweat in between her thighs.... which was always warm.. n not very normal. she always leave patches of glistening sweat ont he pvc seat..[ brandon - eeyer!!!! uurrine!!! ur urine!!]

brandon carelessly chipped in..' no la auntie... she wont bully her... its ray(spoilt brat with dragon's breath)... he always bully her' ....

yolanda, jamie n ray gaped at him.


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this is a true story with changed names. after a few weeks. ray suffocated to death while playing in his mother's car boot n accidentally got locked in. he screamed and hit the car boot's cover but no one came to his aid... when he was finally let out.. he was half dead.. with a pile of turd next to him.. his parents rushed him to pantai cheras hospital. but wasnt admitted to ER because the doctors n the parents wasted time arguing about payment as the doctors wont do the nessecary procedures without first receiving payment.


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'goodness!! look at your ****.. so ugly... ..... looking like tht.'''

brandon go on and on about it. with a cruel taunting smile.

yolanda plastered a mask on her face to hide her pain n hurt of hearing that.

. ..its ok..she thought.. only he can talk of me like that.. only he can critisize me that way.. no one else would.. he can cuz he didnt mind it... he dun mind me looking like this.. if he does he wont talk about it...



n strangely..until now. he remained the only person.. who ever talked like that..




'look at you!!.. walking like that. like a guy!!. look at jamie look at how she walks.. why cant u wakl like her??l........

yolanda put a defiant look on her face. determined not to change for him. she would be anyhow she wanted to be. no matter wat others say. no ones gonna define her.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

yolanda stole a glance at eric. the finest looking boy in her age. a fool. with stupid antics and a habit of scratching his body. whose father is the director of genting highlands. a fat boy. ah i must stick to the story without getting to emotional. she blushed as he looked back at her weirdly formed face. yolanda shifted her eyes quickly to jamie who was talking ot her.

eric was brandon's best mate. bunch of fools together.

they were now all in their final year of primary school.. 12 years of age.

yolanda had a crush on eric. he was so cute. she couldtn help fantasizing bout him everynight. dates. kisses. hugs.

while brandon was acting strangely lately.. he begin to talk to her in class. and people started teasing him about it as gossips of their talks in the van spreaded. but yolanda didnt notice.

she didnt care. all she wanted was eric.



so did half of the girls . n half of the half were pretty. n one of them got him. already. even at 12.

they had a game.

...share market... buying shares ..using real money.. not on companies but on cute guys. n yolanda was left out cuz she just dun fit in.

she jsut cant wait to go home. since she stays with the driver. n brandon stays opposite her.. they are the last to reach home. htey have over an hour n a half of conversation. she can always talk about anythign to him. but.. she is always disturbed by his taunts.. since they ever become friends.. everything from him is an insult or a critique.. but she didnt mind.. she just needed soemone.

she even avoided jamie half the time.. leaving her alone while she laughed with brandon.

~~'~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

yolanda cried in frustration as she grashed her maths paper.. 98%..
brandon give a shout of triumph ...100%

sulking... yolanda pulled a long face... determined to beat him next time. in the whole class. both of them were rivals at maths.

but no matter how she tried she couldnt' beat him. every time during tests they somehow took turns topping each other.

but what frustrate her the most is the South australian test for maths. it was a test of a higher standard and somehow she only managed to scrape credits while he pulled of distinctions..


but silently.. she was proud... of this similiarity they shared. .. someone as rejected as her.. a bond with someone as popular as him..


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yolanda reached out for the cardboard n steped on the chair to hang it on to the wall.

'higher..higher..''jamie said... it was their turn to decorate the duty rooster. it was always them. the 2 best students. its still early..half an hour before class... both of them prefects....having to do their duty..they had to rush.

yolanda struggled but she just isnt tall enough..

'oh .just let me do it! ..' jamie started with frustration..frustrated at her best friend. always followign her. she even take up piano lessons jsut to compete with her. yolanda started her piano. and he was excited about it.. but because her parents cou;dn't afford a piano.. she had to practice in shcool... n her efforts were often laughed at and ridiculed at by others. especially jamie. yolanda isnt even in grade 1 yet.. while jamie was already starting her grade 7..

yolanda started to get off the chair as someone suddenly opened the door. it was brandon.. with one of his friends.. on his prefect duty..

he strided over with his long legs...gone were his fats.. he sprouted with emmense height lately.. his voice also breaking.. he grabbed the duty rooster.. and hung it cleanly on the wall wihtout any effort while yolanda stood there on the chair..

'thank you..' she said.

he walked off without a word.. his friend asked him ' why dun u tell yolanda that u like her??'


jamie jaw opened.

brandon kept quiet and walked away.


yolanda stood there. silent. the words washing over her. she felt elated yet nervous. her?? spindly gangly sticked figured tomboy like her? with him? the celebrated brandon. who doesnt have to buy any flowers for his mother as he can used those he got from those giggly girls.


she shook her head clear. pretended she did not hear.. she had enjoyed those rumours yes.. but she didnt expect them to be true. not to soemoen like her.

besides. eric.

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for the next week... brandon ignored yolanda totally.. she is irritated by his behaviour .. confused by his actions... as its no reason for him ignorning her from the very start of their friendship!..

he shifted his attention all to the other girls. talking n flirting with them.


one day.. it was raining cats n dogs. every student crowded at the entrance. trying to avoid the rain. yolanda searched for brandon in th crowd desperately..

she had no time to look for him. she looked for the van.. with the plate number 3147... n spotted it... very far away.. she sprinted towards it..

n climbed inside. it was a friday. allt he other kids are gone. only she n brandon. she was wet. top to toe.

'where is fei chai???' diablos screeched. usign the name she always used whenever he is not around.

'i dunno'.. i replied.. tryign to catch my breath...n wiping her hair dry.. a futile attempt...

they waited very long... n finally he came in. wet. but cool n aloof.

they started talking. like old times. .. yolanda took off her pinafor. leaving her white button down on... it was made of very thin material. and it so happened that she planned to go out that day after school.. so she wore a strapless bra to support her budding breasts.

when they finally reached her home. yolanda now stays with her parents...her father n her new stepmom ..she jumped down n said bye bye...

'eeyer!!! why do u say bye bye????? eeeee'' brandon replied.

yolanda walked in.. disappointed.

her maid opened the door...

yolanda looked down.

n screamed.



her bra had slid down below her breasts. giving her 4 breasts. 2 real 2 fake. 2 shaking 2 hard cones. n god knows when it slid.



the next van transportation.. teh topic was breasts.n brandon claimed he saw the small kid's breasts. she screamed in shame n denied it.

' REALLY!! i saw yolanda's one also watttt!

...................




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it was the day. THE day.

the last day for them.

as friends.

n the day their results come out.

soon some of them will leave the school for secondary stuides if they do not wish to continue here.

yolanda is determined. she wanted to tell eric.

candy pulled her aside.. n said..' lets go to the playground..'

yolanda followed.

candy was eric's girlfriend. she looked troubled.

' yolanda..eric are not talking with me anymore... i talked to him ont he phone yesterday. he hung up on me.. ..

today.. he sent me this song..

The Hardest Thing
98 Degrees

We both know that I shouldn't be here
This is wrong
And baby it's killin' me, it's killin' you
Both of us tryin' to be strong
I've got somewhere else to be
Promises to keep
Someone else who loves me
And trusts me fast asleep
I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that

It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion
When you start to cry
I can't let you see
What you mean to me
When my hands are tied
And my heart's not free
We're not meant to be
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending I don't love you

I know that we'll meet again
Fate has a place and time
So you can get on with your life
I've got to be cruel to be kind
Like Dr. Zhivago
All my love I'll be sending
And you will never know
'Cause there can be no happy ending

Maybe another time, another day
As much as I want to, I can't stay
I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that


.. what does it mean yolanda?? why did he send me this song??'


yolanda read it.....n replied ' it means he have someone else. but its u he loves..but he had to leave.. cuz she done too much for him to reject... '

candy cried... sobbing.. ' what m i gonna do???'

yolanda replied silently, defeated 'go tell him how u feel. since its u he loves. he'll come back...to you..'

candy went off... running to look for eric..

yolanda cursed herself for being too kind. n it dawn on her... how impossible it is...n suddenly brandon entered her thoughts.. she wondered . is it really eric she likes.


.... the speaker rang out. ' all upsr candidates please go into the lobby. now we are going to announce the upsr resutls'

....

all the students sat down... the teacher started reading out names of those that scored a straight flush.

jamie... candy... brandon.. all got it

yolanda missed it. she watched with desperation as one by one .. they stood up .. n went outside for the photograph session.

then the teacher read out names of those who got 4 a's...

yolanda missed it.

she started to hug her legs to her chin.. almost a quarter of them is out already.


then the teacher read out the names of those who scrape 3 a's


suddenly jamie burst in.. shouted ' yolanda yolanda you have got straight a's!!!!'' she shouted repeatedly..jumpling excitedly..

yolanda stood up. uncertain...

all of a sudden.. everyone around applaused. yolanda...walked to the jamie...n candy said ' jamie went n checked. she couldnt believe that u dint get straight a's.. n the teacher din read otu ur name cuz ur name was printed on the lines.. the parts where 2 pages meet. n it couldnt be seen correctly!!'

yolanda smiled n jumped.. hugged jamie n cried with tears of joy...


after the happy photograph session... cames the congratulating..

brandon stood there.. talkign with eric..

yolanda braved herself n walked towards him n said.

congratulations.

they shook hands n yolanda felt as if she would remember this moment forever. for he had a very weird hand shake... he did not ..shake. he squeezed..

n when she wanted to let go.. that half a second.. he squeezed again.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``


yolanda walked into the school... jamie had migrated to austrailia... candy shifted to another school... she was alone.. the reason she stayed.. is because brandon did.

she was alone.... n helen walked up to her.' u r yolanda right? can i sit with u? i rememebr when we were 8 no one wanted to play with me... but u offered ur toys to me.. n told me that we will always be friends.'

yolanda nodded happily...


she was clear now.. who she wanted was brandon.


she waited painfully for the van ride home... n when it comes. she was happy. for secondary students have a differnt ending time. therefore diablos have to go 2 rounds. n they were in the 2nd. they were the only ones.

but suddenly another guy came in.. jim

brandon's cousin. jim was silent. with a bad boy's look. lean body.. dyed hair. same age with us..13..

brandon was different. he is very tall n thin now.. too tall.. until he had to hunched up his body when he walk...

brandon ignored jim the whole drive n talked to her.. animatedly.. relieving her pent up thoughts n feeligns for him during the holidays.

yolanda reached home in a fluttery spirit.... happy n dazed.. knowing for sure he's hers..


the next day...

she rushed out to the road... diablos make them go out to the roads n wait for her. as she is shy... she would wait at the left side of the road while brandon waited at teh right side...

she was excited... imagining of their soon to come conversation..

they got onto the van after 15 minutes of waiting...


n she smiled brightly... n started talking.....

brandon kept quiet n look outside the window...

hostile n cold.

yolanda kept quiet .... embarrassed of his behaviour towards her in front of jim.

she tried once more...

he kept quiet


she was feeling hurt.. very hurt.. she knew jim must have said something about her. her looks.
but she cant keep quiet now that she started talking already. pretendign to be bright n cheerful she took out a ten dollar note n started folding it into a twin love.. hoping to get his attention......


her smile slowly disappear with every turn of the wheel....


he ignored her totally...

from then on.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


yolanda was confused. but now her anticipated van rides are dreaded as they were long n silent.

n jim is influencing brandon...he doesnt go home often... he dun even get into the van anymore... he always frequent cyber cafes...

his results dropped... yolanda's maths rival slowly deterioate... til he dropped to the next class.. n to the next.. n next...

but she remained confused n in love.. as up til then he was never seen with antoher girl..

when she was 14..

she still couldnt forget him.

but one day.. she saw someone else.. someone that seeemed to step right otu o her dreams.

but even then... when she heard that brandon gave a flower to the prettiest girl during valentine's... she felt a hard thump in her chest... n was strangely relieved n suspicious when she further find out taht he did it becuase all teh other guys did it too.. n merely wanna see wats gonna happen if he does.

brandon continue to hang out with all the bad influences. ignoring his studies.. he fell into the commerce stream while yolanda got into the science.. he had a very bad habit of holding his pants from behind when he walk... with his back hunched... n head pointed out... as if its cool..

when yolanda was 16.. she got a boyfriend... that she got to know online.. n once... because of that..her fake nude pictures got spreaded out in school... n when she walked into the canteen..she felt eyes looking at her.. eyes which seem to rape her.

n brandon's was one of them.


a gate closed. no turning back.


after their graduation... brandon fursthered his stuides in business. while yolanda went to a local U n met someone else there. she believed in God

n therefore closed another gate to her ex. no more turning back. n also locked the first gate.


now she have to close yet another gate. n lock the other 2.


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a tribute to a special someone in my life 7 years ago.