haze

MISTREATMENT OF LOVE [tribute to shadow]


i do not understand wat is wrong with people nowadays..girls n guys alike... do they think they are some form of angel created in heaven n they have every shit n dicks alike in command??

just because things isn't going their way.. doens't mean they have to put the fire on other people around them... n when people treat them nicely, they throw it back at them in their face, hardcore.

but when people heck care..they cry til their bathroom is flooded with eye shit n make all sorts of resolutions n promises until others care bout them. n then?.. they heck care n take them for granted again. n thus goes on the cycle.

so upseting... immature people.. who goes around..critisizing others for their weak points OUT LOUD. ok.. i know i critisize people too.. i m immature too.. i m wrong too.. but heck. i m working on it.



i m sorry people.. i really can't stand it.. grow up. really grow up.


INCIDENTS(sorry if u r the unlucky chosen one)

#1 was held up by people from a certain club when i was walking to class... n hear them talk bad bout a very close friend of mine.. n heck.. they are years older than me... do people really enjoy jabbing at others behind their back? i wonder what they jab at behind my back.

#2 talking on the phone.. reporting certain issues.. when the other side seemed to think that i hate a certain person.. n tell me "yea.. i hate that person too...alot".. wa.. how i feel?... that person is close to me.. damn it.

#3 treating me like a bag of worthless vaginas.. make me do all the damn shit... when that person actually say he did everything when he actually did nothing.. n when i move on.. every bad thing turns up.. egoistic.. afraid of losing.. all sorts of stories just to make me stay..even death n new bag of vaginas.. to migrating.. to begging..to stalking me.. heck care shit.

#4 treat my friend as if she's made out of titanium.. with every punch n bangs on her.. expect her to endure it all.. wat the heck!... she's the best of all...she's gold. not titanium.. u dun treat gold like how u treat ur weeds.. while she gave everything.. threw it back at her pretty face, u dun just treat people whom u declare u love like this man... yea.. i know u got issues.. but dun bring it to ur present.. people around u deserve more.......

#5 imagine.. buying all toys n books for a child whom mother put all the gifts back in ur room the next day. self explanatory. understand it urself

#6 people who think they are so damn cool... but actually so shallow n desperate that they hang out only with the pretty n cute...like dogs..n wat bout the pretty's friends?.. they act as if they don't exist.. how do u think they feel? making comments that will make anyone feel sore n unworthy of their looks.. n hitting on cuties n showing off their cigarette butts n playboy attitudes. using religious gatherings.. n formal gatherings to work up their own 'i m desperate for a girl/guy to ride' party.

#7 people who pretend to be thick skinned.. when others commented or hit on them, they pretend they don't notice.. n pretend that the world is still a pretty n soulful place.. heck. everybody's shallow nowadays. n sadly..i m faulty in this incident.. i m tired of playing dumb when people make comments bout my butt or my body... tired of pretending people is nice n kind when they are only nice n kind to CERTAIN chosen people. tired of them all. tired of me.



y can't people just be a little more...deep?.. ugh. i m disgusted. n i pitied those who r victims. i know how it felt.. been there . done it all.


yea. of cos i have.. people wouldn't notice. back in high school... oh my best friend was tall n pretty n i was the nerd.. the geek. the disgusting one.. n people tell her how pretty she is in front of me pretending i dun exist..they ask her out in front of me without even glancing at me.. they flirted n hit on her while i stand beside her like a frigging fool that they think have no feelings.
people tell her that she eats like a princess n i eat like a beggar.. well guess wat?.. ugly duckling no more. feck them all.

further back.. in my primary school.. people critisize n condemn me wherever i go. fuck them. only boobs n butts matter.. wat bout grades?..wat bout personality? its fagging enough that my parents dun give a damn bout my grades...others must do it n rub it in too. wat kinda crap is this?

do i exist only to be ridicule by all people around me??

crap.. even my father hit on pretty girls. where has all the respect for guys dissipated....


now ..things is the other way round.. people around me are getting it.. feck. i can feel their pain. felt it when people treat people around me as if they r invisible. all i wanted to do is tell them how shallow they r.. but i couldn't.. cuz i m caught in this shallow world n i had to be shallow n act as if everyone is nice n kind.. n i had to be shallow with them.



n right this moment..someone out there is being hurt by the one she loves.. n no matter how strong my advice is to her.. it is never as strong as her love for her.. n she will still hang on to that thorn rose no matter how she bleed. just hope she really know that whenever a thorn sink in.. they sink in me too. cuz i been there. done it all. the pain she felt.. i felt before. felt worthless..should have been there for her.