haze

SHiaWASE ne....

n thru it all.. he offers me protection.. a lot of love n affection whether i m right or wrong..
n down the waterfall.. wherever it may take me.. i know that life won't break me..
when i come to call.. he won't forsake me.

 
phew.. finally had the time to blog.. n draft down my feelings...

a little bit weird.. was eating together.. saw that big round lump of grass outside the glass pane.. n some unknown music playing in the background.. n suddenly i felt happy. 

 
wat a way to  be cruel to me... somehow wat jx said to me has always stuck with me n plague me... he always talk of me leaving him for someone who could spend more time with me n show me the meaning of being together as bf n gf.
now ..everytime i feel happy.. or feel as if i m spending marvellous time together.. i would remember what he said...n i somehow felt i wronged him. wat he said came true. n i would give anything just to prove him wrong.

but i guess some things matters more than that.

 
assignments piling up.. out of 5... 2 settled... with 2 due on tuesday.. n 1 due monday.. its hard to get any time to myself.. or just to be clean or blog.

 
i wanna sleep.. n rest.. n clean myself thoroughly.. look horrible .. feel horrible.. everythings horrible..........

 
getting frustrated with myself too.. i nag him too much.. so much that i think i m not good enough.. hahahaha... would u want someone who scold u non stop in front of everybody all the damn time??

i wanna try out for TFS.. my dad kept pushing the issue away until it is outdated.. i must be FIRM. hmph!


 
anyway..updates sake
sunday... came back feeling really down.. because of certain things certain people said... n reluctantly meet up.. go to the usual place.. ah... always that something he said made me upset... n he did it without realizing.. n i haven't bother telling him even until now.
hugged so fiercely after that.. hahaha..

monday .. my dad came at night to bring his digicam to me.. n pass me some important notes on credit cards.. n his dad came too. wa.. .. n suddenly he appeared in front of me n THANKED me.!!

oh goodness.....i was so shocked . imagine.. my father thanking u.

ah..

tuesday... went for the FCM field trip to the national art gallery n the art village.. saw some amazing art... n took some photos.. so expect photos soon.. of people n paintings.. finally got a good pic of both of us.

wednesday..argued n lost our temper with each other over DA.. shouted n yelled n scolded so loud so frustrated..almost cried.... so amazing......haha
anyway.. it was fun... painting in PAINTER 8 in the library with him critisizing n him contradicting himself over somthing he said few minutes ago.. n we argued again over the damn clothings i was painting.. n i put my headphones on.. ignoring him.. he sat down in front of his pc... n send me a msn msg.. i didn't bother to open cuz i was sure he's arguing on his point... dun even wanna see... n then i bite him cuz i was so frustrated with his egoistic fat chauvinisPig...like that still wanna argue.. he walked away to eton... n i opened the msn msg..........."i love u..pls forgive me..".. wa........................heart melt like nobody's business.

i didn't expect THAT.. i was expecting something like.." i even showed u the picture.. not the one u r drawing..bla bla..."

then did assignments outside the library when it closes at 12 am.. yawn.. so tired.. he bought maggi bowl.. cooked n i ate.. then continue doing until he fell asleep.. slept around 3 am...plus plus

TODAY.thursday... DA passed up./ english presentation done. feel light n easy. foo.....................
eventho0ugh both not done vvv nicely....... its ok... its alright.. i heck care already... i didn't even practice or do anything i m supposd to do.. heck care

wanna sleep............................. din sleep well yesterday..........