haze

salvation

i no longer see my family with hatred or despise. but with renewed spirit n strength to save them. the need just grows with every second.

..came back. .. somewhat relieved of certain restrains. been expecting myself to shun them off. but dunno y.. have some kinda strength to change things around here.

today. someone banged my father's car. they end up taking the day off. front n back of the car is rammed. police came.

.. n my sis came back from tuition. my dad locked her out of the house. cuz she ate her hand... it was so bad that hard skin grew.. n fresh pink blood-vesseled skin showed beneath new bites.

i went out to bring her in.. i told her..

bao.. you must go in .. tell sorry to daddy.. then daddy won't beat you..

wuu wuuuohh... dun wan... uhh ohwwwuu.... i scared.

daddy won't beat you one...

wuuuuuwuuuooh... i scared.. i scared...

daddy sad because you bite your hand... so u must go in.. n say ' i m sorry daddy.. i won't bite my hand anymore'... then daddy won't beat you..

wuuuooohh.... uuuhh..

daddy won't beat you wan.. he will hug you when you say sorry.

wuuooohh oohh... i dun wan daddy to hug me.

...................

my dad who is listening inside boiled up n snapped at her... GET IN!!

.... haih.

i had a marvellous week at pd... which is TOO eventful for update's sake.

i went to esplosion camp II..

lots of changes.

i played lots of things too.

i went jet ski-ing... it was marvellous.. amazing. especially when he kept screaming behind me telling me to slow down............wahahahahaha...

i played diablo II with him... n i m stuck with it.

i replayed final fantasy VII. so that when the movie comes out i will know what is going on.

i played piano everyday . EVERYDAY. n i m happy.

i didn't do anything to deserve such happiness. to suddenly deserve another family that cares. another mother n father. n 2 brothers.

i didn't do anything to deserve all the new friends i met in camp.

i learnt alot during camp. alot. n i changed alot too.

i had many new friends that i dun wanna lose contact with.

i m grateful. n thankful. that He would provide me thus.

i m finally complete.

though i know it wouldn't last. nothing does. but i m satisfied n content while it lasts.

i read alot of books too.

n i also went ice skating. n got two long bruise from someone's blade... hurts...

but its fun. i find it weird. i can never get tired of ice skating. physically or emotionally. maybe i should go professional?

n i m happy. very happy. though it wouldn't last. but i m happy bout that too.

my sister is always with me. n i m happy bout that too.
i m happy about everything. except for one.

n i dun suppose i can ever be in my life. i can never rest until i find out who that man is.