haze

just checkin '

i have watched forrest gump ... twice. before.
n both times, instead of laughing i cried so much until i thought there was something wrong with me.

today i watched it again. n happy to say, i did not cry. not one bit. in fact i do not see why i cried last time.

maybe its because i picture myself as him n getting insulted n bullied at all the time. people just laughing at me. thats y i pity him n i cried. n i think i cried everytime he ran, which is like the whole movie. because he ran in a weird way n i must have thought that was pathetic and sad to have such a habit, that was why i cried.

n this was also why..
having something bad about yourself that you can never change.
whether its stupid, legless, ugly or unlikable.


i was a pessimist last time .. now i m not.


doing great with meeqa. he would stay on my chair for a long time n nuzzle my thigh til i snap at him saying that its ticklish.. he is more considerate now, when he is inside my shirt he cling on to the shirt instead of my body so that i would not be that painful.