haze

i came i saw thought i conquered. but i lost.

its only natural..very natural to be attracted to the one who smiles.. n do good.
n be repelled by those who sulk. .. n do bad.

sorry Zen.. have to break my promise.

everything's laid out. against me. Do i still go against everything. just to get wat i want.

no. i wont'. not this time. gonna work with the wind this time.. i'll make things easier for u.. i swear.

suddenly.. i hear some music...that made me cry. i realized...its my own music.. that i played a long while ago. so pathetic that i even pity myself huh.

sorry.

i m sorry i can't be as generous.. as forgiving... n as supporting as u want.

sorry i m depressed always at the wrong time.. happy at the wrong time. wanting u the wrong time.. n letting go at the wrong time.

i won't be happy. i won't smile. but i won't cry either. neither will i beg.

won't write bout how i feel anymore. cuz i dun care how i feel. doesn't matter.

won't turn to You again.. cuz i dun care whats gonna happen when i live. why should i care what happen when i die.

won't let u hold me anymore. cuz theres only one reason y u still wanna hold me. n i m all to be blameD for making that reason happen.

just go.