haze

a week of change. ~ from the past into the near future
everyone is out there looking for mr/miss right, but they never bother to be the mr/miss right themselves first .
~ audrey tong


ok.. before i start my rattling... here's all the buildings in mmu.

STAD building... 4 hostels.. one apartment.. 2 buildings for courses,(FCM n FOE ).. lotsa cafeterias n every hostel one food court/canteen. lecture halls , multipurpose hall. thats all.. plus sports courts.. bla bla.

MONDAY ~ first design fundamental classes.. n computer graphics classes...bored................ vv bored.... n maths.. the maths teacher taught us 4 stupid kind of numbers. in one hours time.. i feel Sooo..soo..
s...ll....oo...w.... in her class... god.. she's moving at snail's pace. n she moved thursday's class to wednesday.. so i only have DA n english on thursday.


TUESDAY ~in design fundamental.. got assigned to different group leaders.. ok..they are also lecturers..so i got splitted from audrey..she's in another group. i m on my own.. but.. dennis, darryl.. n crap. forgot his name......... ok. 3 of them in my group. my lecturer/group leader. is called MR D.

ok. laugh all u want. he's cool. n he's a pro in the human figure section. so our first task. draw an unforgettable scene which you can't forget.
of cos.. its my piano competition where i can see my reflection in the piano.. thats in 30 mins time.

then next task. draw a portrait of someone else. i got assigned to... oh ..crap. forgot that guy's name again................................wat is wrong with my memory.

muahahahahaa.. i m so good in portraits.. as u all know.. of cos .. muahaha.. i m the best.. muahahaha.. haha.. kidding.. there were some good artists too. thats in 15 mins time.

then last task. draw yourself.
ok.. thats easy.

without looking at the mirror or pictures.

uh oh.

haha.. i drew a portrait of ME after a plastic surgery.. i failed .big time.

after class ended.. i approached MR D.. asked him whether can i have personal anatomy classes.. u see. i m extremely interested to learn anatomy.. n he said yes.. i gave him my website address....n coincidentally.. darryl was there... asking for...uh oh.. i forgot again... he wanted my website add too.


then in computer graphics.... the lecturer... with the name of FOREST LIM YAN PENG.

ok. i thought its a man................
but... suddenly.. a woman who look as if she came from mainland china's kitchen came in n started talking...

HER ENGLAND SO POWDERFUL ORH..................haha.. this one audrey said.. which means her english is lousy ok......


then FOREST started saying " my name is forest lim yan peng.. but you all can call me forest.. cuz my chinese surname is lin..which means wood... so my english name have to be compatible with it.. so i m forest..

but don't call me jungle."


no one laugh... lame joke ok?

but when me n audrey back into our room.. we started MALLOWHAFFOWING like mad.


ok. during the classes.. her ENGLAND REALLY SO POWDERFUL... she went " next you all press the SHIPPTP key... n hold your mouse. "


...........( shipptp = shift)

moan......................



she also went "next week when you all come for your CLAAAPB , bring diskettes/...blablabialerpue "


.........(claapb = class)

god.. cannot tahan.. wanna laugh... audrey actually shut off her sound system n refer to the notes instead of listening to her.. while i laugh like a mad woman.


n suddenly audrey laughed at something............... n i told audrey " ITS NOT FUNNY . "

...she continued to laugh... n suddenly forest came... n asked " what did you just say?"

n i replied " I SAID, ITS NOT FUNNY! "

.....n audrey broke into histerical laughter.


... ok..enough of bad classes.

at night.. i went for christian fellowship.... it is the coolest night ever... EVER.

i actually felt so touched by everything thats happening... audrey was there.. fel.. celine... so is darryl... n of cos.. he's late.. again. all the time.. haha...

we sang.. we danced.. we intro.. we laughed. performances.. then there's actually a workshop.. for musical bands = piano/ guitar/ drums... together wtih dance classes... n film n animation.. cool.. really cool.. wanted to join that..


after the whole thing.. went out to get the leaflet for that workshop.. n i found out that darryl played electric guitar.. looking for band members.. could anything be more coincidental? i mean.. same class.. then same group.. then interest the same.

its actually so cool chatting with him..

then me n my roomies left for our rooms in the hostel...


WEDNESDAY

ok.. today classes.. english ..Design appreciation n maths

english was alright.
DA... realized that we don't have to come for class on wednesday for DA..cuz we only had to attend the class VIRTUALLY thru internet..not REALISTICALLY.

n was told that thursday no classes.. lecturer away. so for thursday..maths gone. DA gone.. only english. woohoO!

darryl's the only one with the laptop.. n his opening music .. u know.. the windows music is loud. n people is looking.


crap. he has the same wallpaper as mine.


deja vu.. really.u know.. the final fantasy 10 wallpaper.. where tidus n yuna is in the water.. yuna crying.. tidus smiling at her...


after classes.. i mentioned to him that we got the same wallpaper.. n then me n audrey walked to the hostel canteen with him.. n both of them launched into a MIGHTY discussion bout christianity which i understand no head no tail wat more wat tokking they talk.

aih.. when we reached the canteen.. suddenly dun feel like eating.. soi bought.. conneto ice cream.. strawberry one.. yum yum yum.............. n 3 lollipops. audrey went up to our room.. n i wanna go library... so i walked to the library with him..

n we actually sat outside the library n yakked away non stop til... 6? ..7? pm.. n of cos i din get to go to the library.. thats like...2 3 hours?? dunno. but still its long.

he's going to the ART audition for female / male actors at 8.30 pm.. while i might be going to DHARMA SUTRA with fel at 8.00 pm.. then realized there's CHOIR at 8.00 pm

i went to library to check emails from him.. u all know who.. n i accidentally left my wallet there.

when i get back my wallet half an hour later.. my money all gone. but everything others still in. 40 bucks gone. ouch.


i ended up at CHOIR. n i dragged him into choir too.. n good thing.. cuz ART audition is for 2 days.. wed n thursday. so decided. tonight. he go to choir wimme.. n tomoro.. i go to ART withim.

me fel. alice. celine. had a blast at the choir......he ar.. i dunno..haha

after that.. we RUSHED to the STAD building for the ART audition.. wanna watch only..not audition..n suddenly.. HE called. at that time. we dunno head tail where r we... so fel n darryl asked for directions while i talked on the phone.....


n found out.. auditions over. so we walked back to the hostel.. fel wanna bath.. i went supper with darryl at the foodcourt below his hostel.. i dun have money.. so supper on him.. n tomoro's lunch on me. halfway thru. HE called again. the next part of the happenings i m not putting it here. some things are best left untold.

anyway.. i found out.. darryls bday is one day before me.




... how close can that be..

we talked until........2 something...i think..

n when i get back to my hostel room, wWHAO!!!

audrey got locked outside her room after her bath.. so she
s draped in towels.. haha.. but keniss lent her clothes.... n had to wait for fel.. at that same moment i walked into the hallway.. saw audrey waiting n fel walking out.


haha.. in we go into the room.. n guess wat. just because i talked with darryl outside the library n ate supper with him.. audreys receiving um.. INQUIRIES regarding me n him already.

gossip flies.. don't they.. haha...



THURSDAY

only english today... morning class..n guess wat? no lecturer today.. exercises... so most of us left early.. asked darryl to go lunch.. n he said something bout big business in the toilet..so i thought ok.. lunch's canceled...tiny disappointment inside.. but ok.. nvm.

but turned out.. he wanna go lunch.. aiyo.. just that he can't leave with me that time.............. wat was i thinking. \(^o^)?

but turns out.. i waited for him for like 10 mins ++ then i went library.. n later.. he came... all sweating..... good lord... wat happened in the toilet.. hahahaha

lunch was ok.. except for the fact that the waitress did not place MY order.. so i dind't get to eat. i drank.

then after that. hang out outside the library..yak non stop again...then went back to hostel sleep.. so tired...

ok. tonight's event. i-Wesak night.n ART auditions.. of cos... i wesak starts at 7.30 pm... ART 8.30
fel went to wesak at 7.30.. i slept til 8.. went there after i tried painfully to open my eyes.

i mean i went to wesak... then at 8.30.. me n fel left for ART.. met up with darryl there.. we went there to WATCH. i repeat.. not AUDITION.

but when fel is there.. the peeps there asked" anyone new??"

n that fel PUT UP HER HAND!!!!!!!!!!!



my good lord........

anyone n everyone knows that will make her audition.

so she wrote her name n id there.. aiyo...


n the peeps there.. PERSUADED ( this word i use is because it came from the mouth of darryl lim the ego side.. haha) darryl to audition...

n ended up he auditioning too..

those watching CAN'T watch..it turns out. god.. i dun wanna miss all the fun..do i?

so i ended up auditioning to.



ok..everyone knows i can't act.. .. so i m there to make a fool out of my big fat stupid head.


ok.. i m the last one... i went in... they asked me to talk.. so i bli bla.... n then they will cut in..while i continue to bli bla "SAD"

n i actually ALMOST cried. while talking.

.. "HAPPY"

.. i was laughing to myself... crap. its as if they are pressing certain buttons to make me change expressions.

..."CRAZY"

i practically went SIAO.. muahahaha..


next test... in this scene.. i m a widow. husband died. i talk to myself often. others think i m crazy.

wat did i do..hmm... i actually told them the 2 chairs are bus stop station.. i sat there.. n pretended that the one next to me is my dead husband.. n i went like " we used to sit here together side by side bla bla...."


ok. i flunked. big time. i m dead. fool. stupid actress.no. not even close to actress.

went out with the script.. i m catherine.

suddenly. phone rang. its him..

wat happened next is um... cut off.

ok... the last test... reading scripts.. i flunked it.. i was rolling my tongue with difficulty.

haha..


i won't get that part.. its not like i care.. but at least i made a fool out of myself n made myself.. EXPERIENCED in auditioning.. so i can't say i have never act before now.. hehe...


after that.. fel wanna have midnight sandwich.. she's been going on n on bout that sandwich yesterday already.. its a sandwich available before midnight strikes... so me n darryl accompanied her. when she decided she wanna have ice cream.....aih

ended up me n darryl alone again.. n we hang out outside the library.. its turning to be a haven already.. haha..

talked til... hmm..3? yea.. 3 am. then went to sleep.......yawn.....


not putting here wat we talked about.. somethings are best left in the heart.. haha..


ps. anyway. tablet broke .. period. be getting a new one.. when i have enough money. so .. aih..dun expect works....... sorry people... u would have to wait longer for jennifer garner n keira knightley.



FRIDAY

was supposed to lunch with him.. but argh.. dad arrived early before i could even laundry... so went back home n bloggin now...







miss my friends back here.. alot.. wanna see them to make sure they are alright...
shadow..~ keep the spirit.. dun ever give up
cherry..~ when u stop working... gimme a holler.. bring u round campus .. let everyone marvel at how pretty you are.
chin kuan~ aiya.. i know u won't read this lar. but take care also

the other 2 no need to say.. won't read my blog one.


there were days i missed him n loved him.. when i tried my best to mend things. but somehow i gave up..cuz i can't bear with all the words thrown back at me coldly.
now are the days i don't think of him anymore.. when i tried my best to end things. somehow i kept throwing back his words at him coldly cuz i don't care anymore.


i like to imply that its nobody's fault but mine alone that i somehow moved on.. n nobody caused me to this decision but me alone.
all the things he said sound unbelievable to me now.. drastic change..caused by my heart gone stone hard n can't really put him in it anymore.

sorry.. cuz i put u n all the memories behind.