haze

i m so fucking pissed off.

y wouldn't he understand???



n now i had to get used to sleeping alone. without huggin my bolster pretending its him. fuck. even a bolster had to change cuz of him. my whole life had to change.
even the table. my finger. wat the heck. he leave marks in everything in my life.

but all that doesn't matter... wat matters is that i'll probably be remembered as a flirt n a slut by him. i wonder y i bother to come online tonight. oh yea. i forgot, cuz i still love him. but i guess that doesn't matter now.


i really find it very difficult for me to continue being with him when i can't see him this coming march. very difficult. its like being stripped of our bf/gf status n being a cyber relationship. wat a dispromotion.

he probably be so upset now. i dunno y he can't compromise with me bout the trip when i compromised so many times. i dunno y he wanna put up with all the pain he probably feel right now.

I'm so tired of being here suppressed by all my childish fears n if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave cuz your presence still lingers here n it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years but you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light. Now I'm bound by the life you left behind your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams, your voice it chased away all the sanity in me.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone but though you're still with me, I've been alone all along.... alone all along.