click to enlarge
on lighter note.. here is my room.. my new room which i havent painted... mind the heavy wiring of the computers.. cuz the pc table for the work room hasn't arrive yet...it may not be the most luxurious room in the world but i do like it very much.. its very peace inducing to me.. especially when i switch on the yellow lights and light the lamp berger. with air con set to 27 degrees and fan set to 3.. haha..
what have i done what have i done what have i done what have i done
every day i yearn to break free yet afraid i will be swept away by the wind of independance,
i learnt not to trust myself
perhaps i should just be who i m.. instead of trying to be who i wanted myself to be
but i know i will hate myself then, n i try to remain.. yet a part of me wants to break free and rebel.. after all if personalities, attitudes are paths, shouldn't i explore them all
but every exploration hurt others.. perhaps i m afraid to hurt, instead of willing to .....*
on a lighter note i got accepted by the company i targeted for.. basecamp vfx
too much experience = just nice = too little
too old = just nice = too young
too protected = just nice = unprotected
the woman is the link between them.. mother of a child, daughter of a father.
can u spot me ? i m in the fog!
me, jason aka drummer, guitarist, ying tian, rachel
i finally found my style. my own original personal style. non vector based, line art of controlled chaos based on a theme. i have already started a book of themes.
the one above is based on the theme, beauty
i can't wait to build up more on this style during the holidays. maybe then i'll finally have a deviant.
this piece is for a folder i m making to put my resume and show reel in.
will be posting the final product soon.
stay tune ;)
"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars—points of light and reason… And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything."
-stephenie meyer, New Moon
it was like OOPS and i did it
it was like duh... of cos i did it
toing toing bouncy bounce
sent my applications to 6 companies, forgot to attach resume for 4 of them
did not give phone number to all of them
it was like oops n i did it
it was like duh n i felt like writing a song bout it
it was like watever ?
it was like OOPS and i fell for you
it was like OOPS and i suddenly hated you
it was like OOPS and i just collapse
it was like DUH and i agreed with you
it was like DUH and i ignored you
it was like DUH and i loved you back
it was like WATEVER that i made an effort
it was like WATEVER that i do not care anymore
it was like WATEVER that i sing and dance for you!!
OOPS i opened a mushroom
DUH i sat on a newt
WATEVER i cry on the orange skin!!!
LMAO................IT FELT GOOD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
uuu ya babe
Finally done also
Now i can rest easy.. not.
Just today I saw a couply eatin after a long day's work, in front of their lorry. They were seated at their curb and i felt so lucky to have what i have right now. that my parents went thru all those hardships to support me up til today for who i want to be.
i want to be even greater.
finally felt the satisfaction of playing in a music band today... the high you get when the applause comes.. and the high you get when u realized u can play every decor in your musical notes without flaws.. and the high you get from the resonance with other instruments.. the rapport with band members.
but i m lacking behind in other things
i missed the yearly ancestral routine.. is she disappointed i did not come see her this year...
did she expect this from me so early and also in my coming of age year.
i have been confused lately.. of love and of need.. of want and of routine... of companions and of friends. deep down i m just the same girl i m inside, the same one who would feel lonely without people around her.. same one who yearns to break free from norms.. same one who walks away quietly without celebrating success.. same one who keep wanting to find more and more people to celebrate with..for success without celebration is not success... and celebration without people of the same dream is not celebration..
i will keep moving on.. working harder than ever.. trying to get an A in my work.. my life.. my love..my family and in everything else.. for i know i fail in everything else except for work.. cuz there is no one there to grade and guide me in all the other aspects of life..
promises is but a whim at a moment.. and like contracts, can be void after some time.
when you smile my life becomes a ray of light
sing me a lullaby to sleep at midnight
i'll be hypnotized when i looked into your eyes
turn off the room light let's spend the night
take me to far away, away to your secret place
take my tears, my fears
take all my pain for which i'll repay someday with a kiss and say "can't believe that i'm in love, in love again'
when the stars don't shine and when the birds don't fly
and when the flowers cry and when the rain runs dry
when the violet's red and when the rose turn blue
baby i'll still be in love with you..
i wanted to paint my room walls this weekend but the new wardrobe for my clothes have not arrived yet.. n i might need to make another trip to ikano to buy a wall table. if you know wat i mean.. haha..
so next week i'll be posting up photos of my room and my new house!!!
for the mean time i need some feedback..
below are some renders i composited from my tree dryad model.