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"i can hardly speak, i understand
why you can't raise your voice to say.."

"slower, slower
we don't have time for that..
all i want is to find an easier way
to get out of our little heads.."

"have heart, my dear
we are bound to be afraid..
even if its just for a few days
making up for all of these mess.."


"in the silence you stare at the world,
your eyes are screaming to be heard..."

if only the world is fair..
then i wouldn't have to decide.

no comment.
i know.
i'll shut up now.

"i see all that you wanna be,

look into your soul looking right back at me,
i wanna learn you inside out.."


ACAA masquerade prom 2008

major.. (may-jah) flop.
its a long story why i ended up going anyway...

its a masquerade prom and EVERYBODY had masks.. man... i was so 'last minute' that i just slap on a few colors that i have to be my make up mask.. me and celine.. that is.. lol..
and i wore celine's dress... i have been taking her dresses and wearing them to functions non stop..

the performances suck.. the awards suck...(cuz i didn't get the best student award.. ahem *cough*.. but hakim deserved it.. true to my heart, serious he does.. at least i got nominated)

facebook chat is so cool... new peepz..
quiz of the day.



hey wassup


ntm hbu

ntm hbu = wat??

nothing at the moment, how bout you?
wow. technology.
my next blog will be full of shorts....

all the pics is in my facebook as well..
here are the pics..
our table

sullen sullen me.. late

lovely liana

audrey eating.. justin showing weird face.. lol

our waiter

zeh pin

can you tell i m grimacing cuz the camera won't snap?
bad lighting env... bad cameraman.. lol

justin n auds...

damn camera. snap already.

cu of my make up. after i did the blue eye.. i was doing my blusher and i was thinking what if my blusher ends up in my other eye..bad bad idea

celine with her butterfly painted make up mask

this is how she looks like with her eyes closed

liana... joen and marwan..

spend what money on make up n hair la.. do urself oni..

best VR student :zeh pin and shanker


zeek the muse and me

zeek the clown and me

playful liana

amir n his gang

amir n me

dr House MD and me

ya man u better have a smile on your face.

me and umair

celine and me


auds camwhoring with me


auds in mask


just to stifle my urge to smoke

chew, me and apis..

i love this photo.......so much..
celine auds and me

auds and justin

me and amir

auds n zeek

poor auds.. she is trying to look as pretty as possible and he is trying to look as idiotic as possible.. haha

justin n auds

amin n me.. see vinn? u din miss out much attaa ALL.

me and joen.

at home..

at home... wrong white balance setting. heck care...

take care yall... lolz


i am a creep

When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
so fucking special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so very special
so fucking special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh

She's running out the door
She's running out
She run run run run...

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so very special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't belong here...


the worst feeling of all

love is like a moving cloud..
it floats high and light..
it shelters you from the harsh light of the sun..
it even divides the anger of the sun out into colourful rays..
but it absorbs droplets of pain..
and then pours them down in rain..
it also absorbs light...
and then strikes them down in anger..
it can turn grey with sadness..
and engulf everything else in pain..
but when it leaves...
the sun shines and blinds you with it's ferocity
and you die.. from the dry piercing warmth that stabs you every now and then
..the cuts remind you that you are alone..
it tears you up inside and you are reminded of how unworthy you are..
but you are not in pain..
for the sun numbs you to the core.. and you feel nothing.
not the cold sweet taste of ice cream.. nor the warm hot cocoa...
melodies turn into silent drones.. and friends became empty shells of temporary haven..
you reach out to touch something.. just hoping that it will remind you of your own existence..
but nothing is there.
no one is there to save you.
no one is there to tenderly stroke your hair and face..
no one is there to share comfortable silence with..
you no longer feel anything...
and that is the worst feeling of all.



here i am.. aimless.. a rat in the pointless race..
when i came across the hall.. and inspiration strikes me hard
and all i could think of is ideas and success.

man. i miss this feeling.


men are a selfish race..
.self indulgent.
i suppose this is an excuse for my mistakes.



Sean Kingston's press gathering

since ah b been calling up radio stations every now and then.. he kept winning stuff.. one of them was the sean kingston tix to see him n take pics with him

but unfortunately we were late.. n couldn't get a personal pic with sean K .. i really don't feel that unfortunate .. really... its just a figure of speech. i am not sorry. either. lol..

all the winners who managed to get pics with him.. AIH.. now holding goodies waiting for him to arrive at the press conference in Maxis tower just next to KLCC

the booth setup.. too many hotlink ads. i know they are sponsoring. and i m advertising.. i don't want to .. but lol.

ah b holding winner pass

thats. Sean. K. pounds of him

he never really does smile. really. i m serious.

media hogging around him trying to get a shot

did i say that he don't smile.. gonna take that back

jared n ah b.. jared is on of the hitz fm perodua troupers.. they play footie together..

after a long long long long wait, we finally got our goodies..

a fan. nope. just going for the event yall

anyways.. i finally got my mac to the service centre... since it is in klcc next door... the warranty is really great... they are gonna replace my hard disk with a new one.. lol.. nearly typed hard dick


the troupers..

me in front of zouk.. like my shirt? i got it from lazyshop.. they got really cool clothes!!.. been looking for a midriff for a really long long time..

goodies to give out..

games before the event.

vinn inside of zouk.. it was 8 and empty.. might as well take some pics ya

ah b trying to be cool...

i love love love this pic!!!


pics without flash looks soooo goooood...

can even see the flourescent glow of white stuff

poser. hmph!

fag addiction

crowd starting to fill in

thats jj from hitz fm being the dj..

the freaking crowd at 9..

jj and natalie

dj jin.. from hk i think.

everybody just take pics non stop

sean k.. at around 10 pm..

he sang a freaking 5 songs and he just leave. at 11

told ya they just want his pics

vinn's sudden outburst of enjoyment..

pics without flash. nice.. have to really crank the ISO up

typical :0 emoticon

ah b n jj

me n jj

vinn and her glam presense

hmm. i wonder if u can tell whether i had a good time or not. ..
i rather watch hannah montana at home.. n it be a better blog post value than this

on to more interesting stuff.. vinn stayed over at my place .. i adapted her into my unhealthy lifestyle of eating in the middle of the night.

eating roast DUCKS.

i suppose if i turn it upside down i look less horrible

we worked without sleep.. i havent sleep well for a llooooonnng time..
n my neck freaking hurts so bad that i couldnt turn my head.. my dad did this.

i did this like 5 days ago n the marks are still there. shit.....

back to work.. compositing.. can't really help when the texturing is bad.. u'll see what i mean

this is the environment pass....

and this is the fog light pass..

this is the composited pass of the 2 above.. giving the light pass.. looks ok.. like some white tundra scene..

another one.. its not hdri anyway.. all spotlights

and this is the freaking diffuse pass. the texture.. how the heck m i supposed to make this look good.
eh. how?

this is the best i can do. omg.. i just wanna sleep.. fuck work.

i m so tired of reassuring.. reassuring..
when kids keep getting what they want.... when they are adults they will try and act like a kid again just to get what they want. well guess what. it wont work.
grow up man.

my eyes are damn red... from lack of sleep. eye bags so deep photoshop wont be able to cover them soon.. work is killing me. slowly. but surely.

i am inspired to paint.