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11/30/04

blogs

what blogs do u like??

cute little blogs that only n will only rant about daily happenings?? with a cutesy voice...teehee... lalalala.... n of cos... a prettee face..:p like this..??

or gothic like blogs that hate everything n everyone thats normal..n pride themselves with their equisite taste of death n gross. one word-freak.but special to read

..hmm...or never seen before blogs that dealt with unacceptable but interesting happenings. like...rape. or death. or family disowning their child...or gay. or fucking positions..like this cute lil pacifier sucking guy here..mmm..i m hungry. kiss me..

or... sacarstic ... full blown to the head, selfish..self centred..everyone's ugly but her...yet. ...voted Most Read n Popular Blog in the singapore because she has a happening life n a bad mouth. n..
not to mention... a hello kitty vibrator. :D see it here.

...or..hmm.. a too good to be true daily happenings fucked up with sweet words that will fool not even girls.nor guys. get real.


...ah. i can't leave out depressed blogs. blogs that are usually private. cuz they r full of cussing n wanking n murdering other blogs n other people in their life..
heh... no links.

n of cos....photologs. pictures tat depict a thousand words. but still. devoid of text cuz apparently the blogger has no time or no wit. but ah. there r those who can BOTH TYPE n POSE. :D

..or .. of cos..the regular joke blog


...not to mention cute guys. ... 2 of them. wao.. double serving!! ..packed with alcoholic nights. cute gurls pic. n humour to match. drool here*

now now..... calm down.. cute girls are not all lost here. cute. photographer. also packed with alcoholic nights. cute guys. n humour to match. drool here*



n the smart ones. of cos..smart can be boring. but this is short. n sharp. enlighten urself.

but the beatiful ones. are everywhere. make yours beautiful here... compatible with xanga, movable type n blogger..

or do u only read those whom authors u know personally..
ok. if i put links. it will be a long day for u n me.



but


ultimately.

get all of them...all those written above...HERE







ah... i see u haven't click. perhaps u r smart. cuz that links back to this noisy page.
just pulling ur leg.

have a thought. what sort of a blogger are u.



11/28/04

to celebrate this blog's new skin... n to celebrate my taking up of piano again..well..not much to celebrate cuz i missed my dance practice for the umpteenth time..... :< i have arranged a midi...

hehe


i composed a song.. in midi..well..not composed.. arrange la.. sun yan zi's tian hei hei....click to hear..i like the piano parts so much...sigh.hehe

11/27/04

photolog












11/26/04

Name Four Things You Are Thinking About Now :-
~chinese songs
~my eyes hurts
~lies n excuses not to go home

~him

Name the Last Four Things You Have Bought:-
~chicken rice
~fried chicken
~gift for auds
~Monsoon by Wilbur Smith for him

Name the Four things You Wish To Have :-
~sleep
~specs. someone took mine
~Wilbur Smiths n more Wilbur Smiths
~currently craving for Yan-Zi Piano collection no 1.

Last person chatted online with?
~shadow
~zen

Last Time You Cried?
~this morning when i yawn........wat???!!

What's Under Your Bed
~sometimes things drop. n i dun wan to know wat drops. n wat stays. n wat comes.

Current Clothes
~towel only. gonna bathe soon.

.Current Desktop Picture:
~final fantasy VII : advent children

Current Screen Saver:
~tarepanda rolling about...:D

Current Worry
~none. i m content

Current Hate
~those who rejected my scholarship letters

Favorite Physical Feature Of The Opposite
~used to be moustache.......now it is ass. n the small of the back. kwahahahaha.. the bigger the arse the better..lia hahahahaha

Favourite Place To Be
~dreamworld

Least Favorite Place
~reality

Favorite Color(s)
~yellow

Do You Believe In An Afterlife ?
~does this include undead??... :read terry prachett.

Current Favorite Word/Saying?
~murderous landlubber swine of rat piss n mother's sour milk...just kidding. ar...... wat bout. fat ass. hah.

One Person From Your Past You Wish You Could be?
~none. cuz i m better than them. hmph

favourite Days?
~my last ones with him

Favorite Bike?
~i prefer to swim

Favourite Cartoon Character?
~jack-jack from incredibles

Favourite Food
~everything. including human flesh.

Current favourite song
~tian hei hei by sun yan zi

What do you like to do most?
~sleep. or... sleep. or music.

Do you like to eat fish or chicken?
~both are white. i prefer red meat. goats!!! cows!!!!

Do you like to complete your homework in skool or at home?
~neither. my home is my school. vice versa

Do you skip skool often
~u learn in a school call life. if u skip them u r dead. same if ur school has a proper name

What are you doing now?
~exploiting my roomate's computer. downloading songs. to burn into a cd. waiting for him to come back. trying to drag myself to bathe

KITE

我不要 將你多綁住一秒

我也知道 天空多美妙

請你 替我瞧一瞧

I don’t want to keep you tied up for a second more.

I also know how beautiful the sky is.

Please, watch after me.



天上的風箏哪兒去了

一眨眼

不見了

誰把它的線剪斷了

你知不知道

The kite in the sky…where did it go?

In the blink of an eye,

it is nowhere to be seen.

Who cut its string?

Do you know?




從前的我們哪兒去了

路太遠

我忘了

如果你想飛我明瞭

你自由也好

The us of the past…where did it go?

The road is too far,

I have forgotten.

If you want to fly I understand.

You being free is also fine.




看你穿越雲端飛得很高

站在山上的我大聲叫 喔

也許你呀不會聽到

把夢想找到

要過得更好

Seeing you break through the clouds, flying very high,

standing on top of the mountain, I loudly shout, whoa-oh-oh.

Maybe you won’t hear me.

Find your dreams.

Have a better time (life).




我不要 愛情的低潮

我會微笑

眼淚不准掉

我很好

後來的你好不好?

你會知道 我沒有走掉

回憶 飛進風裡了

I don’t want love’s low tide (depression).

I will smile;

Tears are not allowed to fall.

I am fine;

The new you, are you well?

You will know I have not walked away.

Reminiscence (memories) has flown into the wind.




天上的風箏哪兒去?

The kite in the sky…where did it go?

11/21/04

SPEAKERS ON PLEASE

AH ONE

AH TWO

AH ONE TWO THREE FOUR!!


She can kill with a smile
she can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
n she only reveals what she wants you to see
She hides like a child

but she's always a woman to me


She can lead you to love
she can take you or leave you
She can ask for the truth…but she'll never believe
n she'll take what you give her as long it's free
Yea! She steals like a thief..!

but she's always a woman to me


Oh! she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants
she's ahead of her time
Ohh! n she never gives out
n she never gives in

she just changes her mind


n she'll promise you more than the garden of Eden
Then she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleeding
But she’ll bring out the best and the worst you can be
Blame it all on yourself cuz she's always a woman to me


She's frequently kind and she's suddenly cruel
She can do as she pleases, she's nobody's fool
n she can't be convicted, she's earned her degree
n the most she will do is throw shadows at you,

But she's always a woman to me

dedicated to him..thank u for seeing the woman in me...:D

11/19/04

new cg. :D

oh yea babe. i redownloaded painter 7. soft n silky hair babe!

squaresoft's upcoming 3d movie. cool huh.
the storyline continues from the game itself. thats cloud. more cgs of the movie coming up. n expect a new layout for my portfolio . :D
man.. i M in a good mood.
muah. muah.

i m amazed

woke up too late for a haircut.. suddenly have a intuition to bring my sis for a movie.. incredibles.

was 2.30 already. bathed.she changed. took a cab there.. bought the tickets it was at 5..

we had like one hour free.. brought her to the arcade.. she played around... got like 11 tickets... a guy was like snooping around us... ok.. maybe i shouldn't wear that leather skirt...........but hey! i wore the long one????

we were checking out the redemption counter... wat can 11 tickets get... nothing.

nothing

nada.

suddenly mr snoopy... came up to us.. offered her a wad of tickets.

...............................

n we took it.

n i was so shocked i forgot to tell her to thank him.

ok...............maybe leather skirt is tickets friendly.

:D

well.. she got a pink butterfly sharpener anyway..

later.. was bringing her to my old workplace.. hey the whole place is revamped!! totally cool.. sammi was there... check her out.. while my sis ran around.. suddenly she wanna go toilet.

n she rushed out of the shop. WHY ARE ALL KIDS superboosted with speed??

then after toilet.. guess who i saw.

christopher chung. ....

chung or chong?

wats his name already??? he's from my high school.. always with that annoyed look on his face.. he had a girl with him........... n he smiled to me..though it looked annoyed to me..........

'hi!!" .. someone cheerily said....

goodness.

it was me.

since when did i have the guts to talk to people like .. like them??

since when do i have the confidence to even smile at them. n i gave him a really bright smile.

wa!! big change there gurl..

n he actually hi back.

............ok..........maybe high school nightmare was all my imagination all along.

:D

feeling great.

then i bring her to do this... um.. plastic painting thingie...

11/18/04

a story only the Longs will experience

this morning i woke up 3 times.

i woke up at 9am

i woke up at 12 pm

the last time i woke up was 5 pm. which was when i go downstairs.

there was a char siew pau and a sandwich on the table. n my sister was there. i reached for the pau.. it was hard... cold. so i take the sandwich instead.

my sis said ' cut it into half ..no you must cut it into half'

....huh?

i just bite into it... she started howling. non stop.

crying. wailing. shouting yelling. howling non stop.

my maid came into the scene.

'nor... u makan jeh jeh punya pau, jeh jeh maken u punya bread lor...'

huh?

8 hours ago....

she held 2 paus. to my room. knocked on the door.. ask me to wake up n eat... i shooed her away. she went downstairs.. n eat one of my paus.

now she is crying non stop. becauSe i ate hers.. i offered it back to her..

'i dunw an ur saliva.....'

she cried for a full half n hour.....

when i played mario super bros... she laughed almost immediately.

is this cute.....or is this annoying......

:)

:))

:D

11/17/04

this is the most DEMENTED stuff i have ever seen. got it from audrey's blog. barry's sister. not the one from mmu.......
check it out.. be prepared. for demented things

http://www.fat-pie.com/salad.htm

http://www.fat-pie.com/salad2.htm

http://www.fat-pie.com/salad3.htm

http://www.fat-pie.com/salad4.htm

zen birthday - 18 july

11/15/04

HIGH HEELS

a tiring day... went to C U THERE cafe.... cool..only 3 of us there.... then to klcc... .. then watched the grudge. I HATE HORROR movies..

too scary..... then went to mydina.... for food.. cuz the shopping complex is too packed with people.... hari raya... sorry.. i ddint' know..:D

it was cool... get to see them..... photos.


in mydina... looking at the frigging bill thats like so expensive.... yes.. the place we ate the ice kacang coralweed something....


oh during the grudge.. both of us were so afraid that our heads started its way for each other in comfort... we always snuggled together when we are afraid..but alas!!!! our head knocked!! cuz we were moving too fast too scared at teh same time.!... remembering the moment.ouch!!


kakako=ghost of CHU-ON ..oink.


lovely..lovely shadow..... swoon.....**heart melt..


ahem. praise me. !:D


Delta Goodrem's manager cum producer cum singer?? cum advertiser.



all in a day's walk of high heels...........yawn... snuggles..

look.

i dun give a damn what u put in ur god damned blog.

dun hint to me when u have lied to me from the start that it is not my heart u wanted.

could be my cunt, but i supposed it wasn't satisfying enough for u.

could be u just wanna hurt someone.

yea. u two timed me all these while. 2 years. when i was with u. u were with that bitch. even spreaded nude photos in my school.

still i stayEd with u.

did ur forsaken assignments.

fuck it.

every fucking time we meet, u ignored me one month after that.

i worked 2 months for u. gave 100 to my paretns. n 700 bucks on that watch u dun even wear.

i rejected working in ASTRO for u. n wat happened in the end.?? i rejected for nothing!!! cuz u din even come here.

u fucked up asshole! u think that i m egoistic.. n u think that u r always right. do u have any idea how fucked up ur psychotic mind is????

i m a free woman until i meet u! u n ur marriage brain washing 'i'll-die-for-you and you-are-the-right-one-eventhough-you-are-not' bullshit. until i m so fucking stuck with u even though there were so many sweet asses i wanna suck out there turned to be sour cuz i m afraid u will fucking leave me!

u n ur jealous mind. haven't u heard??? love isn't jealous!!!!
u won't even let me talk to guys!!!!!! nto even look at them!!!

u n ur psychotic mind. how FUCKING dare YOU FANTASIZE me GETTING RAPED!! gang raped!!

how dare you tell me that i m wrong just because i m a fuckign chick!!??? n i supposed this blog entry is wrong because i m supposed to be dutiful n trust u all the way!!??? eventhough u r the one that fucked around with me firsdt/????

test me with all ur fucking friends. yea. FUCK YOU. FUCK THEM. HOW THE FUCKING HELL WOULD I KNOW I M NOT SUPPOSED TO EVEN TALK TO THEM??? i did fuckign tell them i love u!!!!!!.. but did u care????
DID U EVEN KNOW IT IS MY FIRST TIME???? n U RUINED my LIFE AFTER THAT??

that i couldn't go on with another guy that i have loved so much because i have become as fucked up n as jealous n as possessive as you!!??? do u fuckign know how much i had to change ??? do u KNOW how SPOILT I M???? do u FUCKING KNOW THAT the one i love now is feeling so fucked up because of the way u made me????

FUCK YOU. dun make me do the one thing i could do.

n YOU!. dun EVEN THINK OF SPOILING MY REPUTATION IN MMU!.. cuz it won't work no more. u have prepared me to face abuse. verbal or reputation abuse. n i SWEAR ON HER HONEY ASS THAT IF U DO, i will kill you.

slowly.

why did u lie to me??its just dance lessons! for God's sake, why did u lie??

i m sorry.. i was so upset. because.because now. here i m. with such a beautiful wife like you, i m happy. n i m upset n disgraced. disgraced that i wanted something to make myself happier. i mean.. i mean i m sorry i even wanted something happier when i m already so happy. n i can't tell u, i don't even know how to face you. so i hid it from u.

...

everybody.. go watch 'shall we dance' its good. eventhough i watch a pirated downloaded version. with people laughing. bad sound quality n all. it got me crying n all..

we all know it shouldnt happen

http://72.3.131.10//gallery/1/

we all know it shouldn't. bush should be gone. n US is apologizing for it.

11/14/04

pictures day

ok..COMPLETE process of my failed photo realism.

1

2

3

4

....

ok..more pictures..:D

11/13/04

this years love had better last...heaven knows its high time..
n i been waiting on my own... too...long..

but when u hold me like u do.. it feels so right.. i start to forget...how my heart gets torn... when that hurt gets thrown.. feeling like u can't go on...

turning circles..when time again.. it cuts like a knife..
if u love me... gotta know for sure...cuz it takes something more this time.. than sweet..sweet lies...before i open up my arms n fall..losing all control..every dream inside my soul.. n when u kiss me on that midnight street ..sweep me off my feet..singing ant this life so sweet..

this year's love had better last..

so whose to worry if our hearts.. get torn..
when that hurt gets thrown.. dun u know this life goes on.. n won't u kiss me on that midnight street.. sweep me off my feet.. singing ain't this life so sweet..


this year's love had better last.......cuz it ain't everyday i meet someone like u..


sorry..

i m sorry... so sorry... didn't know.. that u felt so much.. that ur pain is more than mine... that u thought of this more often than i do... cried over these more often than i do...

feeling mroe n more ridiculous by the minute. since u feel so much... n i do too. still we have to part.. though its inevitable..but does it have to be so soon....

i didn't wanna care anymore.. dun wanna care.. just leave it to Him to either end this.. or somehow make it better....

since we marry n we divorce..marry n divorce again.. do we really have the initial need to get married in the first place?

yes.. we do.. we do cuz.. since theres only One of u n one of me in this world. n others don't really see us... we need someone in our life..to notice us.. so that our happenings everyday... doesn't go unnoticed... to witness our life... so that it doesn't go unnotice even when we die..
that someone... we had to choose... out of a billion to do so.. n it isn't easy being chosen. we had to care about the other's happy happenings... sad ones.. even mundane ones..every day.. every damn moment in our lives.

.....to catch a man is an art...to hold him is a job.

shouldn't have doubted u in the first place.. thinking that u didn't care.. when u do.. so much.
i m gonna miss u.. so badly..

11/10/04

my reputation do not matter..
my studies don't too
my future doesn't..as long as it has u.
my family n everything else is below u.

but your God is above me. n i had learnt to accept n make it the same for me as well

u seemed to want so much. did so much. said so much. now it doesn't make sense
.

"please love me.. " thats wat u put in ur card.




4 months ago.

now things have changed.

ur freedom is above me. wat bout my freedom?

i wanna eat whenever i wanaeat/.. sleep at the correct time. not at ur time.
study when i come back. research. get myself to the top. be the best. look good.

i gave them all up. all of them didn't even matter.


is ok... guys want freedom. i understand. i accept...

then there was her.


no matter how people ask u.. u stayed glued to the chair next to her during the game. n i dunno y u pretended not to understand when i asked u these.

i have temptations too. its not hard 2 timing someone. but unlike u... the one i thinkof everynight is not them. its u.

so nowi m below another person. regardless of wat i have done..n gave

..but its alright. its ok. as long as u rstill here.



u needed me so much. how could i leave. but thats not y i stayed.
i helped u all i could. lost sleep n beauty. but its ok. as long as u r with me.

then i realize i should leave. i should

n i make sure we part whenever we both felt the same bout leaving each other.


n then i found out. the time came. it was yesterday.u plotted the same thing i plotted.

i thought i'll feel relieved... because i won't be the one to walk away.
but then i realize i m not happy about it at all. not one bit.
n i dun wanna part. not in a months time.


u did not realize.


Will I always be there for you?
When you need someone, will I be that one you need?
Will I do all my best to, to protect you?
When the tears get near your eyes
Will I be the one that’s by your side?
Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your light?
I promise, I promise
I promise I will

Will I take tender tender care of you?
Take your darkest night and make it bright for you
Will I be there to make you strong and to lean on?
When this world has turned so cold
Will I be the one that’s there to hold?

Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your light?
I promise, I promise
I promise I will

Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your light?
I promise, I promise
I promise I will

Yeah
And I love you more every day
And nothing will take that love away
When you need someone
I promise I’ll be there for you (there for you)
I promise

Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your light?
I promise, I promise
I promise I will

And I promise (and I promise)
I promise (oh I promise you)
I will be there when you call me (when you call me)
I promise (I promise)
I promise I will



it was playing. n i remembered when u givien up.. n i was singingalong to this to u. trying to do as it says. trying to make u strong.

n i know in the time to come. i will never be there anymore. n u won't be there either. i won't let u rub away my tears. like i didn't make a sound when they fall yesterday. i didn't want u to see. how much u mean to me.



maybe its good this way. i have always consoled myself. so that i'll love u more everyday. n appreciate u.. n never take u for granted. because umight leave anyday. maybe today. maybe now.

security is important to me. eternity too. they are important to girls. to us.


.. but i pushed them aside to be with u. just like u pushed God aside to be with me.



i m so mad. n angry. why. did u ask to 'please love me' n now that i do, u r gonna reject it. i know. because then u had loved me. n now u don't.
i m also so fucked up. y n how u could still be with me ..smiling. pretending u care. pretending u r mine. when u are everybody elses... when u already planned to leave.. y start things when on the first day itself, u know u will end it soon. wats the point.


will i ask u to understand me. i won't. cuz i don't understand u either. i won't.

we are wrong for each other. we will fuck each other up. n destroy each other. i knew too. i knew n was reminded everyday about it when i see u doing funny stuffs that i still do not like.

but do u know. though i hate the way u are. but when i look into ur eyes. the feeling's still there.
n do u know. that ur eyes says that u feel nothing. right from the first day itself.

how do i pretend i m urs. how do i still let u hold me. n kiss me when i know u r not mine .. n u will not plan to be. n u are already leaving. how.


i m not like u. i can't hold people that i don't love. i can't tell people that i love them when i don't. n i know those rare times that u do tell me it isn't true. dun make it a point to make me happy. i won't be.

cuz haze as i m, i m not stupid .. i do see things ur way.

dun try to be with me. or console me. or sacrifice more. one day i'll learn not to put anything about u in my blog. n u won't know. no one will.

i know u can be happy wherever u go. as long as u dun see my face.. that says everything eventhough my mouth's closed.

i have learnt to smile when u hurt me. so that u'll continue talking. so that i'll know the truth.
i have also elarnt to cry without telling you. so that u'll continue talking.. so that the pain's mine. not urs.



i have also plan. to leave. to disappear. cuz u dun understand. that it hurts ...just liek the way it hurts when ur pig face has the speakers u love. n u wanted it. n u get kjealous. .
only its much worse.

u ran away .. nows my turn.

yesterday is a promise that u have broken

this is ur life. n today is all u have got now...

n today is all u'll ever have


this is ur life... r u who u wanna be..

this is ur life.. izzit everything u dreamt that it would be.

yesterday is dead n over

drown urself in games.. n sleep. n God... before i drown both of us to hell just because i love u more than Him.

11/8/04

Progress





11/7/04

ARE YOU DUMB







yesterday is a wrinkle on ur forehead.. yesterday is a promise that u have broken
dun close ur eyes.. dun close ur eyes..
this is ur life. n today is all u have got now...
n today is all u'll ever have
dun close ur eyes
dun close ur eyes..

this is ur life... ARE YOU who u wanna be???
this is ur life.. izzit everything u dreamt that it would be.
when the world was younger and u had everything to lose...

yesterday is a kid in the corner..yesterday is dead n over

work in progress

zis is the original pic......i m doing photo zealism


zis is mi current stop. so ye get the idea. i m flunking. shiver me booties. yawn.