oh n btw.. i m going to add up cgs soon.. expect expect.. ok? i sure sound like a pregnant boobie.

LIVING A NEW LIFE BUT FEELING THE PAST

things have changed alot upfront.. but nothing has change inside.. i guess you all know wat i mean n probably be thinking..."not again??"

i tried so hard.. just to hope i can pass.. not with distinction or merit. just a pass... (i m not talking bout studies here) but all i keeps getting is fail fail fail. right slapped in my face. red. stinging. hurting.

ok. i m a stubborn old fool for being like this. i'll probably die one day n still be thinking n feeling like this too.

enough sickening thoughts. back to updates..

had our first few lectures.. cool.. some boring.. as usual...
i'll be back tomoro..which is friday.. i m typing it here so that cherry can't say that i m a ghost wisping back n forth without sound... :)

audrey's in my group/. the peeps in my group are cool.. way nice. too nice.

had my first damn assignment. not planning to do it here.. at home maybe.. just artie signie stuffs..
i m going to town tomoro to venus art.. so if some of u happen to be there at that time.. call me up.

n shadow.. wat happen to our kasturi anugerah??? i didn't study so hard for no money.. haha.. however materialistic i sound..


so far i had english.. design appreciation.. n media mathematics... out of 5 subjects which otherwise incluse computer graphics n design fundamentals...big YAWN**

yesterday walked to the street mall with my roomies.. ate chicken rice there.. n did some shopping.. not me.. them.

you know wat? i can't wait to show u all around cyberjaya.. n the campus... hehe... miss u all so much...

oh yea.. after many infinite complaints of the bus.. public transport that doesn't really fit in the technology in cyberjaya.. (meaning they are outdated la).. n long walks that aren't really long.. n aching backs that actually don't ache much.. haha..my dad decided to get me a 2nd hand car.. which is better than nothing...but.......... woohoo!!..hehe


but lets see WHEN do i really actually finally get my car okie? n i think by then all of u will be hoping that u dun have to sit in my car cuz i m such a lousy driver. n must remember to bring my road map(chin kuan) along too..haha



shadow ~ take care..things will be better soon.. i can tell.. things aren't that bad as long as u don't admit to yourself that it is bad.. take things easy.. don't worry too much.. u r so very young....but not as young as us.. haha.. kidding kidding.. take care... alright?
study hard.. no matter how many times u had to read a page just cuz u r not concentrating..do try not to think of other stuffs..

SORE + ASSAILANT = ME

she calls me from the cold just when i was low, feeling short of stable n all that she intends, n all she keeps inside isn't on the label. she says shes ashamed n can she take me for a while? n can i be a friend? we'll forget the past..but maybe i m not able n i break at the bend.
we r here n now but will we ever be again cuz i have found all that shimmers in this world is sure to fade away again.
she dreams a champagne dream, strawberry surprise, pink linen n white paper, lavender n cream, fields of butterflies n reality escapes her.
she says that love is for fools who fall behing n i m somewhere in between.
i never really know a killer from a saviour til i break at the bend.
its too far away for me to hold.
its too far away..guess i'll let it go.

see i dunno why i like u so much..i gave u all of my trust.
i told u i loved u now thats all down the drain.
u put me thru pain i wanna let u know that i feel fuck, wat i said it don't mean shit now.
fuck those presents might as well throw them out. fuck those kisses it din mean jack. fuck u, u hoe i don't want u back.

u thought u could keep this shit from me. u burnt bitch i heard the story. u played me , u even gave him head. now u r asking for me back. ya just another hag, look elsewhere.cuz u r done with me.

ya questioned did i care? u could ask anyone.. i even said u were my great one. now its over but i do admit i m sad. it hurts real bad i can't swear that cuz i loved a hoe.

~dedicated to someone special

mislead.

true love is not waiting for someone,
but the existence of someone in your heart.

i m the assailant..not the victim..
i tried.... n failed yet again.
but will i keep trying...... or will i move on...

anyway.. my MESS site is ok.. look at the links to ur right for details

SHOPPING WITH MY 'HUSBAND' n 'KID'



ok.. today's better.. i slept at 2 am the day before.. i actually wanted to online beforehand.. but my dad fiercely said "GO TO SLEEP!!"

so i went to bed.. n was determined to wake up early..but then i remembered i left my chicken alarm clock at MMU hostel..so i had to use my hp alarm..

at 10 am today.. i woke up... n for those who knew me can guess that i went back to sleep again........but i dragged myself up at 10.30 am..forced myself to take a shower.. n went down..


i finally get to play the piano book i borrowed from ca po the other day before... n indulged in a few pages of angela's ashes by frank McCourt.. which won a pulitzer prize award in 1997.. whom capo's godfather enthusiastically loaned it to me..... wow.

.. ok.. its a sad book....i haven't finished it yet.


my dad kept yelling for my name.. n of cos.. he wouldn't say what izzit until i m 1 feet apart from him.


so me my dad n me sis got dressed...
went to low yat.. wanted to get a network card.. n utp cables ..watever izzit.. for my laptop..


which..leads to a damn irritating guy who thinks that he's the only one in the world who can speak english telling us that my laptop has no slot for the network card..

ok.next shop.

... found out that my laptop has a BUILT IN network card.. now hows that.
so i only need the cable..which is only 5 bucks..


then went to sg wang.. get um................... bras n panties.

okok.. in more polite terms.... UNDERGARMENTS.

n i went there.. with my dad hanging outside the shop with my sis ...poor things...


n got 2 pairs. which the women there told me that i have '..................' n '...................'
so they had to adjust it with manual sewing. n they need 20 minutes..

man..those 20 minutes is an agony.......................................................................


really..

my dad wouldn't even look inside the shop...less walk in it... n my sis walked with him.. so i had to wait outside the shop.. god..

in the end.. i got inside the shop...n chatted with the women there.. n guess wat. they thought that my dad is my HUSBAND... n my sis is my KID..


ok.


so izzit i m OLD or izzit my dad is YOUNG?

i guess its both. man.. this is a disgrace.

it turns out my DUCK VOICE..whom lie yuen so cordially termed it in her blog....made them think like that.. n my dad's SEXY LEGS...(yea..he wore short pants again)...n his YOUNG LOOKS...


they are all excuses... ok? i m old...old...hag.....





sob.


ok..then we went jeans shopping.. i got 3.. each 100 bucks.. n he got one.. too.
haha.. actually i m supposed to get 2.. but he's the one who choose it... to him...they are DECENT, n SHORT enough not to mop the floor when i walk.

to me. they are plain geeky.

i saw wai pik there.. or wah pik..dunno.. n she was like..'OUI!"
haha..
chatted with her.. n while my dad is fitting in his pants.. she got me a real cool one.. which i really like.. n i went in to change.. cool pants.........


so in the end.. got 3..



u all know how i hate shopping....especially for clothes....... n .......undergarments..twice as much i hated shopping for them...




oh..remind me again y did i even bother to get out of my bed....................

i wanna read the book... its bout irish in america.. n their poverty.... its so true..n real that i remember all that i've done when i was a child..

SU ZZEN BACK FROM NS with a new haircut, new skin, n ........um..haha. i think u all know wat i mean..

ok.. i slept from 10++ yesterdy til today 3 pm.. haha.. so tiring... n lie yuen turned up at my doorstep when i was eating downstairs..was so elated to see her.. n zzen too.. wow

we went hunting for wai fun..who can't join us.

then we went to sungei wang.. look for cheng yee.. n we ate together.. i ate with such relish..tearing away at the fish n chips... its been such a long time since i eat out.

then walked to ca po's house.. banging away on her piano.. its been a while since i touch a piano. was so glad..

now still at her house.. blogging away..n yakking away in msn also..

more updates soon.