haze

i woke up this morning..thought i should comb my hair.. i went into the toilet... and realized that i have broke the mirror the day before. and all the other mirrors in my room. can't bear the sight of my face and the memories that come with it.

i walked back home just now...shaking with fear... up the hills.. dark and quiet. before that i attempted some calls to him n my dad.
both didn't pick up. whose there for me when i needed someone?

...feeling tired and sad at the moment....

he's on. free for chat.

yesterday night he said something which hits me right on... " all the bad things are pointed at me, my family did that.. my friends and you. nvm.. its ok. i got used to it anyway"


i felt like a bitch. and i m probably one anyway. for saying all these crap in this blog. it gives me great discomfort even when i read back what i typed. and i always have the urge to delete all of them. so that i won't hurt him.

... but is there such a need?



.... - VE.
-ve....- - - - - -..lord teach me how to love this man without hurting him.