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6/9/05

a day in my li(f)e

1. kakak..kenapa mammy tak sayang jie jie? mammy macam sayang saya dengan di di. kenapa?

mammy dengan daddy married 10 years. jie jie 19 years old.


2. jie jie.. who is this woman in the photo??

what the heck m i supposed to tell her?? my mother?? my aunt?? telling her its my mother will spoil the relationship between us. telling her its someone else means i m unfilial, denying my mother's existence.
kept quiet. til she lost her temper n bang the door at my face.

went down n asked the maid.

maid told her its my aunt. dad's sis.




one day she'll find out. n she'll feel differently towards me.

why must there always be obstacles when it comes to people i love?? distance, death, differences of opinions, statuses...

doesn't love stand alone???

asking my stepmom to love me is like asking a cow to love a baby tiger.


never could bring myself to read articles on the newspaper about dad's love. stumbled upon one.. real story bout a father remarrying after the wife died..
the stepmom mistreated the daughter.. n he divorced her.

..

i live to make life for him better. cny.. her relatives mock me.. i kept quiet n kept my temper down for the sake of him.

damn it. live to make life better for people. people think otherwise. n this are not things u can boast to them..

'oh u know i didnt stand up for myself so that i would not make u lose ur face'
' n that day she made herbal soup for the rest of the family, leaving me out'

why the heck m i so damn kind. can never survive in this family

i m still sane/

still kind

still happy]

n i m proud of it.



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