It would be stupid

It would be stupid to say that I am there. I am it. I have it.
I have got everything.
when the 'want' wanes.. and it ain't there no more.

everything is a chore.

"I live in a bubble.. more and more holes pop up.. I have 10 fingers and 10 toes to stop it from bursting.
I am still surviving.
but add another bubble with another person. hence I cannot mend. with only 20 plugs.
I am stretched to the limit.. trying to keep both bubbles apiece."

Ah. fuck the grass. fuck the green grass.
doesn't matter.

... Once upon a time, I know who I am. lonely, depressed, sick of everyshit, friends who don't mean nothing, feeling like I should help every fucking one in the world.
One day.. I met this guy.. I lost myself to desperation.
turned myself, changed myself into someone I do not know.
The next day, I met a boy..feeling like I should help again, from the V2 I changed and adapted into a V3. another stranger in me.
And I met a man.. I turned into yet another stranger to myself. confining, adapting into a lifestyle that is not me.

Who am I?
Tomorrow, I shall kill all of them with brutal knives of word.
just to find out who I am. just to find out.. who is the New. Me.



"Its difficult and distressing when there is so many holes in the bubble and you are so weary of keeping it patched and floating just to avoid the collateral damage on the people inside the bubble"


How long can you keep it patched. cuz I ain't got long no more.

And yes, I will take the blame. the pain, yet I know there might be no gain. no friends.
but I should be a man. and take it all.

When one have pleasure, the other must have pain.
Are you the one in pleasure or are you the one with the pain?

cuz I am the one with the pain and I wanna have the pleasure. for once.

be selfish.
think of me.
think of myself.
love myself.

cuz if I don't. who will.

I wanna be at peace.