Hah. Look who's here. All high n mighty to taunt the rest.
It's me again. Lots have happened. I ended up with the funny guy and they said that laughters the best medicine. So it is. I m truly happy now.
I have my own business up an running with friends working with me and learnt not to be stubborn, correct and independent. I've learnt a lot from others and continue humbly to learn today. I've learnt to feel ( I went to therapy) and I've learnt to lead.
I feel fulfilled and as an individual I feel whole. There are times I m afraid that good times like these wouldn't last but with my emotional health now, I can enjoy good times and bad times with joy.
These four years have been interesting, slightly rocky but interesting. I ended up with a man I seek safety and comfort in. While he lacks emotions I couldn't feel any. As I gasp for sanity and peace through the years he chilled and were by my side.
We learnt to feel, to coexist and to love. We've been engaged but weddings not near. Our souls took some time to connect but I finally understood what others fear about me. We are both reprogram able and it's scary. I m afraid of him but then I m reminded of myself. Made the journey more worthwhile.
This could be my first happy post and a peaceful one at that. I finally have the ending. My happy ending. N I yearn to be with him everyday.
Funny though how detached we still are. There was a moment in time where I made a mistake when I m far away n I paid for it in revolting disgust. It haunts me still to this day that I can never bring that story to light. That is my retribution and I will bear the consequences. While he is enjoying the freedom and his life happily. We are both very happy.
I regret that I was late in knowing him. Late in my success. Couldn't show my dad. But he lives in me n so does my mom. My stepmom is doing well with her kids and I visit them occasionally.
And what do you know I bake now. Hah. We have 3 cats n he has way too many bikes and bicycles.
It's kinda dull in a way, watching my friends get into relationships n fights and dramas while we settle for quiet days. Sometimes I wish I could play with men too(lately acquired the confidence for that ). N through the years there were times I was bored and I tried to do just that. Only to come running back empty handed in disappointment. It's hard to look for fun when you've already have the best playmate. N sometimes it's weirdly disappointing to realize "this is it? It's really him?" Omg.
Oh well. First world problem I reckon. I've never really acquire the knack of flattering my other half publicly but I suppose this particular one's got his merits. Peh.