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10/16/14

Letter to KY

Dring,


How to write anything when the eyes wet before can type my thoughts. Bah. 

For the lack of flattery and worship, this will make up for it in one big chunk. I only hope you won't get too high in the clouds after a woman's declaration of love rock your day. 

I didn't expect much from you cuz I wasn't looking for a permanent companion. But time has proven. No. Time didn't do anything. You've proven. No I don't believe you've deliberately done anything. It's probably something cosmic just clicked and somehow I ended up intrigued by your ways. 

It's the twisted way you look at ordinary life and you made it interesting for me. Probably funny to others, but to a dark person like me it brings a fresh perspective. Like bringing sunshine and unicorns to mordor. Exactly like a plump fairy godmother do. 

It's how adaptable you are to my demands and how ridiculously instantaneous your changes are. It's scary though that with a little tweak you became indispensable and before that, I couldn't deal with your apathy. So what's real and what's not? I don't really care cuz I guess I have the best of all worlds. 

Mostly, you filled this void of me that's been empty with intellectual bickering and emotional connection. Can't say the same about filling my void orally though. 

I think that no matter what happened in the future and what path we take individually, there's always a compass to find each other. Not to be confused with geographic directions. But I seriously believe we bring the best out of each other and we keep each other sane. For the serious parts mostly. And it will only get better as we evolve into a bag of bones. 

When I was young I was always curious about the love my parents had for each other and lost the chance to see it almost immediately. I am very lucky to finally experience the same emotions and respect for another being. Feeling it everyday is a blessing, would be better if I am allowed to bite more. 

All love letters contain apologies and gratitude. I am obligated to continue rambling on. At this point I wish I could just say I m sorry for everything and thank you for everything. 

I am sorry for early days of conflicting reactions and communication. Perhaps it wasnt apparent but I was confused. 
I am sorry for not being ready right from the start. 
I am sorry for days I thought I could find someone better, which always result in disappointment and finally, realizing that there isn't such a person. 
I am sorry I thought you were gay. Lol. 

Thank you for unwavering trust and faith in me. I appreciate you opening up to me and letting me into your mind. Thank you for laundry and dinners. Thank you for the noise and chatter, adventures, effortless efforts and playing nice with my family. I like enjoying music with you. 

I'll always love you and even when I couldn't, I will not give up on us. If you have dark days, do remember that while burdening me is a pain, I will still be happier being depended on than being shoved away. In days when you feel nothing is going right, I'll be there to save you. When all else fails, separation is never an option that can bring happiness to me. If one day you are no longer who you are today, I'll either find you or join you in the dark side. 
Ps. The previous paragraph cannot be hold against me during petty fights, arguments, infidelity n shower requests.

Sekian. 

Your dring who seung ceh into a Beyond blasting car. 




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