haze

love is when u miss someone so much.. n just wanted to reach out to that person..
but u find it in ur heart not to reach out to them... cuz..
u wanted them to reach u first....

definitions of love[all by me] copyrighted. snarl.

love is when u think of nothing.. not even that person.. then u wonder.. y aren't u thinking of him.. is he not thinking of me too?.. y m i not missing his presense?.. is he around n about? why didn't he call? why din he reach out to me?

n then.. u realize.. u ARE thinking of him at that moment.

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love is when u fell down... u are alright.. u r not hurt.. but u won't get up... cuz u want him to get u up himself n take u in his arms n ask u if u r alright..

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love is when both of u is in the same place.. but not together... walking in different directions.. but u know the chance of meeting is high.. n u do things , trying to time urself with that person.. knowing n understanding him well enough that he will do that exact same thing.. n go to that certain place at a certain time... glancing in mirrors.. hoping to see him behind ur shadow..

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love is when u both watch a movie together.. n u r unwilling to take the popcorn from him.. cuz u want him to put them into ur mouth for u... n even though u are cold.. u won't tell him... but u hope that he will notice n put his arms around you...

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love is when u have so many things to do. .. so busy.. so stressed out.. everything all planned out for u to follow... but still if he call.. u'll be there for him...eventhough u already had lunch.. already done wat u r gonna do with him... but u just wanna spend time with him..

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love is when u cry silently in ur bed at home..hoping that at that exact moment..he'll call n realize u r crying.. but he doesn't call.. u r so disappointed... but when u see him walking towards u..smiling... u realize how foolish n stupid of u to cry..

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love is when u make mistakes...n u realize u r doing it.. but u can't stop urself.. n u can't bring urself to admit it n change either.. u know he doesn't likes it.. but he's still with u.. still with u.

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love is when u found out he likes someone else.. but u want him.. u feel like raging at her... but still u smile at her.. n marvel at how better she is... but u still want him.. possessive..

then u see her... n realize how much happier he will be with her.. n eventhough u want him.. u let go.. n let him have her... though ur heart is broke... but it break even more when he tells u he won't leave... cuz u know how much it takes for him to say that.

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love is when u cannot let go... but u let go eventhough u know u will never ever let go.. ever..

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love is when u see him as a stranger.. that u still love.. n u can't take ur eyes of him still.. u still wanna hold him.. n tell him not to go.. n that u love him so much.. n tell him how in pain u r... but u force urself to stay still cuz u wanna be proud that u left.. n will never come back...

n when he look at u in the eye... u return back that cold stare...eventhough ur heart is melting ..

n when he still continue to stare at u.. u can't look at him no more. cuz u dun wan him to see u cry..

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love is when u knew he doesn't have u in his heart... n though he seemed happy.. u wonder if he really is.. n all u wanna do is ask if he is really happy with u.. but u can't. cuz u are afraid that he'll say that 'no, i m not'...n u have to make urslef leave him there n then.. so u hold back... n watch him smile n laugh... n u smile n laugh too..but u cry inside silently.. wishing n wishing he loves u..

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love is when u blog in front of the laptop.. tears streaming down ur face... searching for words inside to tell everyone how i feel bout this certain guy.. but somehow.. those words thats here.. don't sound as if i m crying.. but as if i m making it up n trying to make u sympathize me...

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love is when u play the piano... n he's there listening.. n u just keep playing wrongly.. n singing out of tune. n u r wishing u r better... more talented so that he''ll be enchanted with u n fall in love with u...

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love is when u feel that he'll never ever love u.. but u still held him close ..hoping that he'll realize how warm ur body actually is.. n u still smile to him.. hoping that he'll love watching me smile....n sometimes u let him go.. knowing that everything is pointless.. but actually hoping that when u r apart..he'll realize how much he miss u...

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love is when he suddenly left u... when u think everything is alright... n then suddenly u r just standing there helpless..hopeless.. wanting someone to depend on..but he never comes... n u kept searching for him.. kept reaching out....but he didn't care... so u left... n walked on aimlessly... but when u fill out in ur blog... n he sees it.. n he came to u... u wonder if its pity. but still u go to him.. wishing that he won't give u excuses.. or explanation.. just three words. three simple words.

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love is when u know he doesn't love u... nor does he want u... n u wanted so much to just let him go n be alright urself.... but u still u hold on n make things worse... pressuring him to love u.. putting it in ur blog to make it known.. becoming such a ridiculous person.. knowing how useless u actually is... can't even make him love u even when he spend almost all his time with u.. talk to u the most... closest to u... everything is there but love.. feeling hopeless n drained everytime because all that u give aren't repaid..

everytime u see other guys.. u get renewed strength to leave.. it is.. after all.. a wide world out there... but before u sleep everynight.. they r never in ur thoughts.. n u remembered that u r never in his too... never.. but still u hold on.. knowing that if u hold on long enough.. a miracle will happen....

will it?

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love is when hes away... n u wonder will he miss u?.. if he does.. won't he wanna hear ur voice?..won't he wannA talk to u?... and all u can do is make up excuses for him.. maybe hes sleeping.. buzy.. gaming.. but then again.. u wonder if they are more important than u r to him... n then u still make up excuses..telling urself to trust him.. that he's not like that.. he's good.. honest.. n u think of all the sweet times u had together.. ...reminding urself that he IS..after all..ur boyfriend.. .. goin round n round in cycle..[suspicions..> excuses..> memories..>conclusion..n repeat the cycle until he calls]

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love is complicated [full stop] o