COMPLICATIONS
y must things be so complicated. cant everything in this world not matter. cant they all just disappear. y work. y money. y clothes. y sex. y parents. y feelings. y feelings. y feelings??
i kept trying to tell myself.. not everyone is like me. they are not as sensitive. nor as efficient. nor as fast. nor as foolish. but i can't help getting frust .. at them for not being as sensitive, efficient, fast or foolish.
.. i got the full impact of my stupidity just about 7 minutes ago. i m reminded of how tactless n how demanding i m. not that i do not realize i m that, i do. seriously i do.
i was brutally reminded of my past relationship where anything n everything he did cause me no anger nor hatred but just pure pain and saddistic physical pain too. suddenly at that moment, i just felt like laughing.. saddisticly at myself.
somehow i know. by being reminded so cruelly will cause guilt n pain to him too. he's probably remorsing now. thinking of how to console me back. n by knowing this, it cause me more pain.
i wonder how long this would last before we actually shout n yell at each other because of our differences. n after that our conscience would sink in n we would regret. wat the hell for. i wonder..
this is getting more n more ridiculous by day. when differences are set aside, i felt such ultimate happiness that i have never felt before n all i wanted was that happiness to last for more than that mere moment of it happening. cuz after it is over, i would start to ponder n wonder whether did he felt the same way too..did he feel the happiness that overwhelm me so much that i even felt like i m dreaming?
alone for a while.. i been searching thru the dark..for traces of the love u left in my lonely heart.
our paths. they did cross..though i cannot say just why..we met we laugh we held on fast n then we said goodbye.
in ur dearest memories. do u remember loving me?
was it fate that brought us close n now leave me behind?
if i should leave this lonely world behind, ur voice will still remember our melody.
now i know we'll carry on.. ...
its really amazing.. now that when things is quiet... no words.. nothing being expressed.. its the most expressed moment. everything just started flooding in. containing me in the huge rush of feelings that arouse every once or so.
no mood to do anything already... heck care....... aih...
wish he's by my side... like those days..those days where i took time for granted. now i barely have time to truly appreciate him. miss him so much.....
7/31/04
WEBCAM GALORE!!!!!!
hmmm.................................. interesting....?
oh look!!!! it can capture my pig essense!!!!!!!!!woohoo!!!! snorty oinky piggy
7/30/04
!!!UPSIDE DOWN NWOD EDISPU!!!
haze: u there?
darth_limeon: i am now
darth_limeon: watsit dear?
haze: wanna amaze u with something
haze: accept ( sent him the latest jay chou song.)
BUZZ!!!
darth_limeon: haha
haze: have a nice laugh about it
haze: nicear?
darth_limeon: yes... but wats so funny?
darth_limeon: this is STYLE babe
haze: its ridiculous
haze: !!!!!!!!!!
haze: nice meh?
darth_limeon: style, creativity, wa... im impressed
darth_limeon: the instruments
haze: oh. u n him r the ssame style
haze: upside down geh
haze: ahhahaahahaha
haze: wait a minute
haze: alice like this song also
darth_limeon: IM NOT UPSIDE DOWN???
haze: is ur roommie there... ask him whether he like onot
haze: ....i think i m the odd one out
darth_limeon: he's snoring away
haze: lor
haze: hahaha
haze: sey, ouy era edispu edis nwod!!!!!!!!!!!!
darth_limeon: OOOOONNNN!!!!!!
haze: sey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
darth_limeon: mi ton!!!!!!!
haze: evorp ti!!
darth_limeon: i tnod ekil ot kcuf syug!!!!!!!!
darth_limeon: did u get dat?
haze: ahahahahahaahahahahahah
haze: og ethab ral................neht ew og teerts llam..
darth_limeon: ko... ah ah ah ah ah...
darth_limeon: i evol ouy oal op
haze: u sound so obsene
darth_limeon: ah ah ah...
darth_limeon:
darth_limeon: ah ah ah ah ah ah
haze: tel siht eb ruo terces edoc...
darth_limeon: AAW... i oais yderla rral...
darth_limeon: eeh eeh eeh eeh
haze: gnirud ycnegreme lyno am...
darth_limeon: rrah? taw si lyno? ah ah
darth_limeon: ouy naem ylno? ah ah ah ah
haze: yealalalala
haze: faster go bathe la
haze: this is going into my blog
darth_limeon: rrah? taw gnikkot ouy? i tnod dnantsrednu???
haze: fuck u la
darth_limeon: AH AH AH AH AH
haze: u sound as if u r being fucked
haze: muahahahaha
darth_limeon: kcuf ouy gnilrad.
haze: ugh ugh ugh ugh....wsahhahahahahahhahah
darth_limeon: ah ah ah ah AUM...
darth_limeon: rrah rrah rrah rrah!!!
haze: dun gnilrad me....... u..u trevrep!!!!!!!
haze: go bathe la OUI!
darth_limeon: AH AH... *kcaum* gniog won gnilrad
haze: ..........................
darth_limeon: KCAUM!
haze: [angry face]
darth_limeon: [crying face]
finallly.. something worth putting up for a good laugh. obsene n ridiculous...ah ah ah ah
MAGGI MEE CUP??
i seemed to be having amnesia lately.... the usual me would go about in daily life.. converting every unique convo and happenings into words for my dear blog.... but nowadays...after converting.. i would totally forgot about it. totally.
forgot every wacky thing that people like about my blog..
well.. perhaps its the fact that i do not need to blog anymore..now now..dun cry..
since now i had someone to make noise n tell every wacky thing to.. i dun need to put it here like last time when i was always unheard.
but i couldn't neglect my dear dear blog...could i?
anyway... everything s alright..except for my maths... i have to study.. i dun understand a shit at all...
wa.....
so manyt hings to do... i m getting old...old.old.
7/28/04
NOTHING COMPARES TO YOU
something's scratching inside.. it hurts...
scraping for blood...it hurts..
i m depriving of blood...it hurts..
time of the month finally came.. it hurts..
that means i m not pregnant...... it still hurts.
i m not on talking terms with my father just because i didn't wanna listen to his continuous advice that means nothign to me. n because my assignment's over, i put my status in MSN, assignment free. n he... being msn illiterate PRETENDED he didn't understand and PRETENDED that he didn't know who i m.. n tried to initiate conversation.
chauvinisPIG. all guys are like that. afraid of losing. hmph.
argh!!!...the lecturer minus marks because i didn't put my files into folders for my website. how ridiculous!!!
ok. here's the website i did for my assignment.
i m feeling kinda lonely here.. without the thought that my friends are near.. cherry's working somewhere out there in the wilderness n somehow knowing just that makes things lonely... n shadow's closed blog makes things twice as far.. chin kuan's f6 starting makes her less free... n no news bout the other two doens't improve things either...where's the comforting feeling of..."we r here if u need us"??? does WELUVU still exists? no its not a groupie.. nor izzit a girlie thing, doofus... just a tag for our community of 6.
oh yea.. i got a web cam already... i didn't bring it back to the campus.. but i will soon.. two of them.. i m not going to leave one with my dad...who wants to see him? i'l probably lend the other one to darryl permanently....that would be giving.....er...watever
my printer's down...refilled wrongly..oopssis!..
my life's downtoo. u can tell by the lack of events..
ok..interesting events... =0
none at all..unless u count the tongue fights and tangling of limbs exciting. no. ain't going into that.
will sastisfy my hunger for CG in painter 8 soon.. when i have enough rest n look youthful once more..sadly.. i will never be. its ok.... everyone else is growing old with me...
i have grown so fat.... i can't stop eating... wondering whether i m preggies... which i m not. n would be ridiculous if i m ... since no process have been done to preg' me.
no i m cutting down. which means starving.. i WANT food!!!!
bulimia is a good way to keep thin while enjoying food............hmm
something funny happened just now... i had milo while i was studying... n after that.. i poured water inside..thinking i could drink the diluted milo which tasted like water... but i couldn't take in more than 7 gulps..so i poured it out of the window...
n someone shouted back.
oops.
it was like..OOOI!...
i automatically draw the curtains n continue to study furiously.
7/26/04
PHOTOS GALORE!!!
i m very busy with assignments lately.. can't even breathe properly..no time to do so...
but i'll always have time for my blog..always...
aw..
taken during the FCM field trip... with my dad's resetted digital camera. which means clearer pics...
haze the pig
darryl in a tshirt that has not been washed for one week half
waiting for the bus.. cuz we got left behind...there were 5 buses..all full.. n we r the ones left...together with a few more..ended up in another bus..ALL to ourselves..WOOHOO!!
darryl in front of the bus we could have gotten in... so sad.....sob
one more extra space left for pics in the memory card...hehe
oh..actually theres one more. but i m not putting it up here.
7/23/04
HOME or DOOM?
everyone's happy to be home. who doesnt?
i don't.
after such a lovely day out at klcc with him.. spirits is so high.. when i come back.. expected to be warmly welcomed.
instead once i got into my dad's car... i m greeted by questions n rebuking on my outfit.
hello??? doesn't he even realize that skirts r the IN thing nowadays?
... n when i m home.. went up... n locked myself in.. n i can hear him shouting n scolding my sister.. n my sis loud cries...later my sis knocked at my door offering oreos... i let her in.. n i saw a long big red stripe across her leg.
i asked her wats that..
she replied " daddy beat me"
............. i hate this place. i really do.
a nice day out. i have the photos.. will scan n upload them here asap.
ciaoz
7/22/04
SHiaWASE ne....
n thru it all.. he offers me protection.. a lot of love n affection whether i m right or wrong..
n down the waterfall.. wherever it may take me.. i know that life won't break me..
when i come to call.. he won't forsake me.
phew.. finally had the time to blog.. n draft down my feelings...
a little bit weird.. was eating together.. saw that big round lump of grass outside the glass pane.. n some unknown music playing in the background.. n suddenly i felt happy.
wat a way to be cruel to me... somehow wat jx said to me has always stuck with me n plague me... he always talk of me leaving him for someone who could spend more time with me n show me the meaning of being together as bf n gf.
now ..everytime i feel happy.. or feel as if i m spending marvellous time together.. i would remember what he said...n i somehow felt i wronged him. wat he said came true. n i would give anything just to prove him wrong.
but i guess some things matters more than that.
assignments piling up.. out of 5... 2 settled... with 2 due on tuesday.. n 1 due monday.. its hard to get any time to myself.. or just to be clean or blog.
i wanna sleep.. n rest.. n clean myself thoroughly.. look horrible .. feel horrible.. everythings horrible..........
getting frustrated with myself too.. i nag him too much.. so much that i think i m not good enough.. hahahaha... would u want someone who scold u non stop in front of everybody all the damn time??
i wanna try out for TFS.. my dad kept pushing the issue away until it is outdated.. i must be FIRM. hmph!
anyway..updates sake
sunday... came back feeling really down.. because of certain things certain people said... n reluctantly meet up.. go to the usual place.. ah... always that something he said made me upset... n he did it without realizing.. n i haven't bother telling him even until now.
hugged so fiercely after that.. hahaha..
monday .. my dad came at night to bring his digicam to me.. n pass me some important notes on credit cards.. n his dad came too. wa.. .. n suddenly he appeared in front of me n THANKED me.!!
oh goodness.....i was so shocked . imagine.. my father thanking u.
ah..
tuesday... went for the FCM field trip to the national art gallery n the art village.. saw some amazing art... n took some photos.. so expect photos soon.. of people n paintings.. finally got a good pic of both of us.
wednesday..argued n lost our temper with each other over DA.. shouted n yelled n scolded so loud so frustrated..almost cried.... so amazing......haha
anyway.. it was fun... painting in PAINTER 8 in the library with him critisizing n him contradicting himself over somthing he said few minutes ago.. n we argued again over the damn clothings i was painting.. n i put my headphones on.. ignoring him.. he sat down in front of his pc... n send me a msn msg.. i didn't bother to open cuz i was sure he's arguing on his point... dun even wanna see... n then i bite him cuz i was so frustrated with his egoistic fat chauvinisPig...like that still wanna argue.. he walked away to eton... n i opened the msn msg..........."i love u..pls forgive me..".. wa........................heart melt like nobody's business.
i didn't expect THAT.. i was expecting something like.." i even showed u the picture.. not the one u r drawing..bla bla..."
then did assignments outside the library when it closes at 12 am.. yawn.. so tired.. he bought maggi bowl.. cooked n i ate.. then continue doing until he fell asleep.. slept around 3 am...plus plus
TODAY.thursday... DA passed up./ english presentation done. feel light n easy. foo.....................
eventho0ugh both not done vvv nicely....... its ok... its alright.. i heck care already... i didn't even practice or do anything i m supposd to do.. heck care
wanna sleep............................. din sleep well yesterday..........
SHiaWASE ne....
n thru it all.. he offers me protection.. a lot of love n affection whether i m right or wrong..
n down the waterfall.. wherever it may take me.. i know that life won't break me..
when i come to call.. he won't forsake me.
phew.. finally had the time to blog.. n draft down my feelings...
a little bit weird.. was eating together.. saw that big round lump of grass outside the glass pane.. n some unknown music playing in the background.. n suddenly i felt happy.
wat a way to be cruel to me... somehow wat jx said to me has always stuck with me n plague me... he always talk of me leaving him for someone who could spend more time with me n show me the meaning of being together as bf n gf.
now ..everytime i feel happy.. or feel as if i m spending marvellous time together.. i would remember what he said...n i somehow felt i wronged him. wat he said came true. n i would give anything just to prove him wrong.
but i guess some things matters more than that.
assignments piling up.. out of 5... 2 settled... with 2 due on tuesday.. n 1 due monday.. its hard to get any time to myself.. or just to be clean or blog.
i wanna sleep.. n rest.. n clean myself thoroughly.. look horrible .. feel horrible.. everythings horrible..........
getting frustrated with myself too.. i nag him too much.. so much that i think i m not good enough.. hahahaha... would u want someone who scold u non stop in front of everybody all the damn time??
i wanna try out for TFS.. my dad kept pushing the issue away until it is outdated.. i must be FIRM. hmph!
anyway..updates sake
sunday... came back feeling really down.. because of certain things certain people said... n reluctantly meet up.. go to the usual place.. ah... always that something he said made me upset... n he did it without realizing.. n i haven't bother telling him even until now.
hugged so fiercely after that.. hahaha..
monday .. my dad came at night to bring his digicam to me.. n pass me some important notes on credit cards.. n his dad came too. wa.. .. n suddenly he appeared in front of me n THANKED me.!!
oh goodness.....i was so shocked . imagine.. my father thanking u.
ah..
tuesday... went for the FCM field trip to the national art gallery n the art village.. saw some amazing art... n took some photos.. so expect photos soon.. of people n paintings.. finally got a good pic of both of us.
wednesday..argued n lost our temper with each other over DA.. shouted n yelled n scolded so loud so frustrated..almost cried.... so amazing......haha
anyway.. it was fun... painting in PAINTER 8 in the library with him critisizing n him contradicting himself over somthing he said few minutes ago.. n we argued again over the damn clothings i was painting.. n i put my headphones on.. ignoring him.. he sat down in front of his pc... n send me a msn msg.. i didn't bother to open cuz i was sure he's arguing on his point... dun even wanna see... n then i bite him cuz i was so frustrated with his egoistic fat chauvinisPig...like that still wanna argue.. he walked away to eton... n i opened the msn msg..........."i love u..pls forgive me..".. wa........................heart melt like nobody's business.
i didn't expect THAT.. i was expecting something like.." i even showed u the picture.. not the one u r drawing..bla bla..."
then did assignments outside the library when it closes at 12 am.. yawn.. so tired.. he bought maggi bowl.. cooked n i ate.. then continue doing until he fell asleep.. slept around 3 am...plus plus
TODAY.thursday... DA passed up./ english presentation done. feel light n easy. foo.....................
eventho0ugh both not done vvv nicely....... its ok... its alright.. i heck care already... i didn't even practice or do anything i m supposd to do.. heck care
wanna sleep............................. din sleep well yesterday..........
7/21/04
TRIBUTE TO A SPECIAL PERSON. whom tribute is also to a special person.
To see you when I wake up
Is a gift
I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
Is a three-fold,
Utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said,
"I miss you"?
I see your picture,
I smell your skin on
The empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days,
But already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care,
And I miss you.
-----------------------------------------------------
To get to know you
Empathize the adversity that you face
To be a miniature object
Uncertain that you comprehend me
Fulfilling my enamored dreams
I wish I was the light in the morning
Illuminating the first things you see
If only you knew my ardor
Towards the likeness of who
You would turn out to be
Your mere existence
And the impression of you
Makes me wonder
Am I who I am
7/19/04
WEARY...
so tired.. so weary... wanna rest.
heres my new work... sketched during design appreciation lecture to cure boredom... rendered in painter 8 ... i gave up doing the hair...leaving it as it is.. brush strokes.
going to do my cg assignment..then sleep
7/16/04
TRUTH HURTS..
i don't wanna lose u..but i dun wanna use u just to have somebody by my side.
n i dun wanna hate u..i dun wanna take u..but i dun wanna be the one who cry..
that don't really matter.. to anyone anymore..
but like a fool i keep losing my place.. i keep seeing u walk thru that door
theres a danger in loving somebody too much. n its sad when u know its ur heart u can't trust..
theres a reason why people dun stay where they are..baby sometimes love just aint' enough.
now i could never change u.. i dun wanna blame u. baby u don't have to take the fall..
yes i may have hurt u.. but i did not desert u..maybe i just wanna have it all.
it makes a sound like thunder..it makes me feel like rain..but like a fool who will never see the truth.. i keep thinking something's gonna change..
n theres no way home.. when its late at night n u r all alone.. r there things that u wanted to say?
do u feel me beside u in ur bed?
there beside u..where i used to lay..
#1 ART
ok.. from today onwards. my art's gonna be here. i dun care.
i m too lazy to redesign my art website...
n lately.. i have upgraded my PAINTER 7 to PAINTER 8.. which proves to be a real disaster..
because all the soft hair that i m good for .. is gone. now the hair look like bristles..
so for a fairly bad start heres two of my recent ones.
hermoine from harry potter.. i like this alot.. but i dunno y others don't. a mixture of watercolour n crayon in PAINTER 8.
I've always been thinking of all of you in those 25 days..alone,and I'm wrong,I've known that from the start and i should have known better to let go and live what's ahead of me rather than what's behind my back,shadow,yen,capo,chinkuan,zzen.. all of you meant something to me,something special and too important to forget.. I dont want to sound childish,but i do hope this relationship will last,I dont know what runnin in your minds,but mines is telling me that though we're living our own lives right now,but i'll remember what happened since the bond between us started.. and will try keep it up,not just by talking..but hopefully everyone's willing to make the move..
#6 LOVE or LUST? is passion a sin? i m that unworthy?
7/15/04
shit
.. sob..my maths..sob..my life.. sob everything
wanna be a dj? dun have to talk.. just play good songs.
here
www.shoutcast.com
or clix the link next to u
7/10/04
ONCE IN A BLUE MOON
who could forget...the first tenderness ..the gentle soothing aura tat spreads thru the body..so innocent.. so true.. so naive.. so uncertain on where i m standing.. unaware of the mistakes i committed... making hate instead of love.. turning a warm glow inside into the most painful twitch... but yet.. still holding on... still holding on.. in the end..realized that its too seasoned with mistakes and misunderstandings that it wil hold no reason other than letting go. .. painful to let go.. painful to hold on... first love...
getting a little bit nostalgia here.... missing the warmth of a good companion...
I WAS WRONG ABOUT MYSELF
its over and done..but the heartache lives on inside.. and who's the one u r clinging to instead of me tonight?
and where r u now??? now that i need u..
tears on my pillow..wherever u go.. i'll cry me a river that leads to ur ocean..
u'll never see me fall apart..in the words of the broken heart its just emotions..taking me over..caught up in sorrow..lost in the song.. but if u don't come back.. come home to me darling.. there'll be nobody left in this world to kiss good night..
nobody left to kiss me..
good night...
new skin!!!!! like it?? i designed myself.. instead of getting them at blogskins.com ..like my old ones... this one is more personal.. i m going to add more and more pics in the bottom.. when i finally can upload from my hp.. this page will be loaded with photos..
things isn't going too well... nothing's funny anymore... nothing make me laugh anymore... no.. i m not talking about him.. i m talking bout life in campus.. somehow i can't click with others.. i felt isolated.. just like old times.
now all i wanted to do is just keep to myself n give no damn to shit they talked.
what makes me happy.. yea.. listening to my father's words after i told him i m going back yesterday which is thursday.. he seemed elated.. happy.. n cheerful.. he will always be someone who welcome me home no matter when n where i m.. felt so much better.
i wonder if someone will ever felt like that about me..
i miss them so much.... i can't keep track with them anymore.. one by one they drifted.. to north to south..then back here again..
will life always be like this? things n people that we cherish and laugh with now are just meant to fade away in the end? pointless to cherish them now..izzit? it will only make us feel worse... lonely..
now that i think of it.. people who are pretty are just the same as those who are ugly.. those who r ugly get unnoticed.. they are in the shadow.. no one wanna talk to them..or get near them.. but they have friends.. that stay true..
those who r pretty get noticed..but not all the attention they get is good.. some are admiring... some jealousy.. some hatred.. some love.. everyone wanna talk to them.. except the same gender... they have friends.. but not all true.. n they have people who purposely treat them as if they are invisible..
how ridiculous.
haha... first 5 years of my life.. i hate everything that my parents tell me to do.
next 5 years of my life.. i hate everything my teachers tell me to do.
another next 5 years of my life.. i hate everything about me.
now, during this 5 years of my life.. i hate everything around me.
maybe one day i'll hate everything so much that i would just end this spark of fire in me and lay cold n blue on a slab of stone that will be lowered into a brown box that will be cremated in front of people i hate.
if its not for the people i love.. i would have been so cold n blue that no slab of stone will want me.
the christians have their God to live for.. to love and to lead them on.. i somehow can't fit in to that category. somehow God won't answer. i wonder if its because i m too stained and unworthy for that.
m i being dreamy now.
no i m not
i m being myself.
its hurting..really... the see the effect of my existence upon certain people...it appears that i hurt him so much that the mere existence of my name in the ONLINE list of MSN can make him purposely go offline to avoid me... it hurts to know that he couldn't bear to even let me see him online..
perhaps i should explain..
those who laugh are not exactly happy.. they can be sad too
those who cry might be happy...
and not saying anything doesn't mean they are not angry...
and those who dump their gf/bf doesn't mean they feel no pain...
and those who got dumped doesn't mean they are innocent...
those who listen to gossip but shut up about it doesn't mean they are doing the right thing...
and those who are being loved doesn't mean they have to love back.
i felt like changing my wardrobe.. i m no high class baby queen.. perhaps i should wear my father's clothes to campus... muahahaha.
You're Element is Night. You're a loner who is very
creative but never show your work to anyone.
You may smile a little but sadness or
loneliness surround you and other can feel it
when they're near you. You have a dark or
unusual beauty that makes you mysterious and
you probably have a lot of secrets that you've
never told anyone. You're beauty is intriging
and unorthidox but the real thing that makes
you special is your eyes. Something in them
makes them like Diamonds in the Rough.
What's Your Element(girls)? (PICTURES)
brought to you by Quizilla
.......late at night when all the world is sleeping.. i stay up n think of u.. n i wish on a star that somewhere r u thinking of me too..
cuz i m dreaming of u tonight..til tomoro, i' be holding u tight..n there's nowhere in the world i rather be than here in my room.. dreaming about u n me..
wonder if u ever see me.. n i wonder if u know i m there....m i there? m i?
if u looked in my eyes..would u see whats inside?
would you even care?
i just wanna hold u close..but so far all i have are dreams of u...
so i wait for the day to take courage to say how much i love u... yes i do..
i'll be dreaming of u tonight..til tomoro i'll be holding u tight.. n there's nowhere in this world i rather be..than here in my room dreaming about u n me..
sweet heart..i can't stop thinking of you... how i need u.. my love..how i miss u..
late at night when all the world is sleeping..i stay up n think of u..
n i still can't believe..that u came up to me n said i love u..
i love u too..
now i m dreaming with u tonight..til tomoro n for all of my life..n theres nowhere in this world i rather be ..than here in my room..
dreaming with you endlessly.....
7/4/04
IF You love him, tell me how to help him
if he talks bout You so mighty and so great and so loving, tell me . pray tell me how to help him.. for i love him, might not be enough to challenge Yours but enough for me to pain and cry for Your help. help me make him into the man he wants to become.
where have all my dreams gone?.. i almost forgotten that i have them... architecture.. yea... right.. i have given up on them.. but wats painful is that the one i love dreams for me. he dreams that we are walking hand in hand in a museum i designed. proud and tall we walked.. proud of the design. proud of me. proud of us.
where have they gone.
music... fingers flying on the piano.. making people cry to my music. though penniless. i dun care.. where have this dream gone?
you are so much more better than everyone around.. not only when loving.. but everything else too.
though sometimes i wonder if i m pushing u too hard.. taking up all ur time.. disturbing u.. dragging u.. but no matter how..watever izzit u want... i'll try to give u...
just dun runaway.
7/3/04
FAME, at tfx
ok... for three times straight.. i have been approached by talent scouts in shopping complexes like klcc and sungei wang.. first time in sungei wang..but they didn't call..second time in klcc..i wanted to get back..and i gave the wrong number.. the third time..which was last week... i gave my real number.
so i went for the interview yesterday..
they handle talents for sunsilk digi..cadbury..bla bla.. now they r searching for new faces.. there will be 6 classes.. fully sponsored.. after that.. its freelancing.. no contracts.. if i wanna accept... i can.. if i dun wanna accept.. i dun have to..
no sexy clothings.. no revealings...
but..
BUT..
have to buy 3 inch high heels.. n a make up set ranging from rm 350-800... cuz be learning poses and make up in the classes..
n
there were 2 agreements that have to be signed.. that couldn't be taken out of that office.. that couldn't be signed later than today.
so. verdict. SPIDERMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
woohoo!!... went to watch spiderman after that.. soooOOOO marveelllooousllly NICE!!!!..
so verdict. nope.
dad dun allow. make up too expensive..he claims that they will view cam girls when they are changing clothes.. all sorts of excuses...
well..... the first step to heaven i have been thrown down back to earth. twice as hard....but its ok.. at least i took the first step.
